Comments on Anonymous Midwest Girl: Mandatory Participation Day!

sex toys shop - buy your Sex toy and use Adult Fri...

2006-02-18T17:33:00.000-08:00

sex toys shop - buy your Sex toy and use Adult Friend Finder to get yourself a sex partner to play together on Adult Video Chat and don't forget to Buy Viagra or Cialis - cause there's no point doing it without it - you can buy Viagra Online right here.

You seriously have to remember when we were throwi...

2006-02-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

You seriously have to remember when we were throwing low-fat garlic-flavored croutons at the seagulls on the ferry across the sound from Seattle to Bainbridge Island when the killer whale breached the surface and it seemed, it just had to be, deliberately snapped up a crouton that hit the water below. It's why because of that you still tease your little cousin that "Orca's gonna getcha!" whenever she has salad.

It was the Fourth of July weekend, remember?

-Troy Z

Well, my favourite memory is that time that I acci...

2006-02-06T15:18:00.000-08:00

Well, my favourite memory is that time that I accidentally got you into a fight with the Bored Housewife.
Yeah, she didn't like the fact that I suggested she could use her blog to help forward some worthy causes so she got real ticked at me. Even her friend who has the name of a citrus fruit sent some fighting words in my direction...
I knew I couldn't handle the situation on my own so I called you and Scott in for some back-up.
Man, you guys were tough... You totally layed the smack down on that old lady!!
It was awesome! I wish I would have had popcorn to see you stomp on her ego...

You're the best.

AMG vs Bored Housewife

Remember that time we watched the sun set over Lak...

2006-01-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

Remember that time we watched the sun set over Lake Michigan and we weren't sure if God or anything that mattered really existed but we were sure of that one moment and the beauty that it that unfolded to us like a gift, the reds, purples, magentas and the water and sky meeting and kissing not as furtive sneaking lovers but in the passionate embrace of two meant for each other, intimates, with no desire to be anywhere else or hide from us or any of the hundreds who lined the shore that night?

I remember when your mom and I were sitting at hom...

2006-01-29T17:22:00.000-08:00

I remember when your mom and I were sitting at home with a friend over, talking and watching some Star Trek flick, and your mom suddenly looking a little confused and pained.

A contraction- a litle different than those she had been having, and just a few minutes after a milder one.

The friend and I immediately began a nervous teasing about it 'being time', but I timed the pains to a few minutes apart. The friend helped us bundle things up as we began a cartoonish run for the hospital.

It was a remarkably short labor, especially for a first child. Everything started at about 8pm on a Saturday night, and by 1:30 you had popped out- all red and squiggly.

Ah, memories!

Remember when we met at that cafe on the island of...

2006-01-28T22:46:00.000-08:00

Remember when we met at that cafe on the island of Chios, a few hours before I was supposed to get on another ship to the next island?

You came over to my table and bought me a bottle of Ouzo and asked me to go swimming with you. So we went to your car, and drove to the other side of the island to a secluded beach. We skinny-dipped in the clear waters, making out amongst the waves, and then we started making sweet sweet love on the beach.

After a little while a man came by and had to step over us to get by on the narrow beach, trying not to stare at our lovemaking. But then he came back our way after we had finished, and asked you for a cigarette. You shared your last one with him, and then made small talk whilst I laid there trying to cover myself.

I never made it to that boat that night, remember? And stayed with you in Greece for another 6 months until the magic started to disappear. I wonder if it could ever come back?

Let me know if you think it will....

Remember when you and I were in Home Street Bar in...

2006-01-27T04:01:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I were in Home Street Bar in Edinburgh, the bar staff were so cool they let you eat your Fish and chips (fries) in the bar.

We played the random drink game and when the barman gave you water you scrunched up your face and yelled "Hell No H2 Oh!".

The Bar staff gave us free brazilian Liquour and we gob-smacked when we did body Shots of Tequilia.

Remember when you and I got kicked out of the groc...

2006-01-26T19:04:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I got kicked out of the grocery store for scooping a pair of lobsters out of the meat department aquarium, driving them over to the bread aisle in the race-car grocery kart, and then raced them from aisle 4 to aisle 9? It was mad fun!

so I totally didn't check my comments for the long...

2006-01-26T18:01:00.000-08:00

so I totally didn't check my comments for the longest time because I had not updated it, and did not find your comment until about two minutes ago.

Bonjour. I am apparently quite lazy.

But remember that time when we met spontaneously on the Eiffel tower? That was insane.

Remember when you and I tricked George W Bush into...

2006-01-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I tricked George W Bush into dancing naked for us? What did we do with those photos? We definitely need to get those published.

smcvz

...we rented that apartment in Texas after graduat...

2006-01-26T13:35:00.000-08:00

...we rented that apartment in Texas after graduation, and then greasy Ethan Hawke moved in, and I went to work at the Gap, and Steve Zahn finally came out of the closet, and you tried to make a movie, but Ben Stiller ruined it, and then he fixed it, but it didn't matter cuz you were all about that greasy Ethan Hawke? Yeah, that was cool.

Remember when you and I took that whale-watching c...

2006-01-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I took that whale-watching cruise up to Alaska? Those two Scandinavian guys kept trying to hook up with us (at least we thought), but they didn't speak a word of English!

I don't do anything that starts with "mandatory".....

2006-01-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

I don't do anything that starts with "mandatory"... ;)

Remember when you and I were in Vietnam and the sh...

2006-01-26T04:51:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I were in Vietnam and the shrapnel wound left you temporarily disoriented? I pulled you into a foxhole, stitched you up, and gave you my last drop of canteen water.

You, being out of your mind with a concussion, high fever, and stomach flu, thought I was Burt Reynolds (very handsome Vietnam War-era Burt) and insisted on making love to me right there in the foxhole.

Unfortunately, our loud cries of passion led the Viet Cong right to us. They beat me and took me to a filthy prison, where I was brutally tortured for six long, agonizing years.

They decided you "had suffered enough" by having sex with me, so they left you to be rescued by U.S. troops.

I still have nightmares of the savage treatment I received at the hands of my captors, but was it worth it to be with you? Well, no. It was great, don't get me wrong, but worth six years of eating rats and having bamboo chutes broken off in my ass? Not even close.

Well, f*ck it. It was pretty damn funny, even if i...

2006-01-26T04:13:00.000-08:00

Well, f*ck it. It was pretty damn funny, even if it wasn’t you. I’m pretty sure it was you, though, and I want to get in line for “sweet, sweet loving” while supplies last…

Remember when you and I were interns in DC and we were in the basement disposing of all those “non-plausibly deniable” pages and I told you that you could hear paper scream if you listened hard enough. And you got those incredibly pendulous earlobes caught in the shredder before I could tell you I was just having a flashback. What a mess. But, you took it pretty well, and we went out by the book burning bonfire and braided your “ear noodles” until the painkillers set in. I don’t think we should have left them in, though. It’s cool that they healed up into Dreadlobes, but I think that fad will pass, and you’ll just be embarrassed that you were “just one of the crowd”.

I’m starting to think that your lobes are actually connected and that wasn’t you at all.

Yeah, nevermind.

...well, it might HAVE been you. Does the smell of...

2006-01-26T04:10:00.000-08:00

...well, it might HAVE been you. Does the smell of burning earwax ring any bells? or "I HEAR IT!!! I HEAR IT!!! Turn the damn thing off!" ?

Anything?

Remember when you and I.... wait... nah, that wasn...

2006-01-26T03:43:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I.... wait... nah, that wasn't you.

Remember when you and I first met at summer camp i...

2006-01-25T13:48:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I first met at summer camp in Ohio. You were so cute with your pigtails, brace and your dimpled chin. I was counselling for the summer. You were in my pack - I recall we were called The Wyandottes after the red indian tribe of that name. We kept in touch by letter and then you grew up. At nineteen you followed your dreams and came over to England for your second university year. I met you at the station in Sheffield and took you for a Big Mac to make you feel at home.

Remember when you and I....decided to take a road ...

2006-01-25T13:18:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and I....decided to take a road trip together and on the way we picked up a couple of midgets to engage in a group orgy with? I believe it was Mini Me, Webster and that little guy from Different Strokes that we came across on Route 66. We got our kicks on all right. Different strokes for different folks. Ahh, yes. Those were good times!

Then remember when you told me you always secretly wanted to grow up and be a crack whore and I broke down into tears because that too has always been a dream of my own. I couldn't believe how much we shared in common - from midget orgies to crack whoreing, I knew our love was a love that would last a lifetime. Here's to you Anonymous Midwest Girl! May we forever reminisce about all these good times, including the late nights we spent sitting around the toaster burning the flesh off our fingers with Pop Tarts.

Ok, I need to stop there because I am getting a little chocked up right now. Damn these happy tears. I didn't want them to start flowing. See what you have done. Much love to you my crazy crack whore companion. :)

All right, portuguesa nova.You are correct.I will ...

2006-01-25T11:36:00.000-08:00

All right, portuguesa nova.

You are correct.

I will abide by what the tourist bureau has planted in our heads.

Forty lashes with a wet noodle.

Remember when you and chilled in London for 36 hou...

2006-01-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

Remember when you and chilled in London for 36 hours? It was so excellent, we walked the cobblestone streets of soho during the morning rush and then took a tour of Brixton and I made silly comparisons of my old neighborhood in harlem and you laughed as I took pictures inside the bullet hole decorated phone booth. Those pictures are priceless, then we had an amazing dinner in Earls Court and what appeared to be a sleazy pub but ended up being one of the best meals either of us had enjoyed in years...Later that night we burned off the calories dancing the night away at Heaven, we walked out of that club at 10am the following morning and shared an English Breakfast that we never tasted due to our extreme hunger then parted ways...Never to see eachother ever again. Do you remember that?

Dude, I'd love to play along, but what happens in ...

2006-01-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

Dude, I'd love to play along, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so mum's the word.

But apparently commenter-from-way-up-at-the-top Bob doesn't respect that.

Remember that time when I was delivering a pizza ...

2006-01-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

Remember that time when I was delivering a pizza to your home, and you opened the door wrapped in nothing but plastic wrap?

You embarrasedly said you were expecting someone else. Yeah right.

Remember that time we made a bet on that football ...

2006-01-25T05:46:00.000-08:00

Remember that time we made a bet on that football game and you lost? I'm still waiting on that $500 you owe me...I hope the check is in the mail.

Don't forget the uh, I mean....yeah you're right. ...

2006-01-25T00:55:00.000-08:00

Don't forget the uh, I mean....yeah you're right. Any whoo, the zoo is cool.