Thursday, May 19, 2005

Come to the Dark Side, Young Jedi.

I feel some obligation to write about going to see "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" (longest movie title ever?) last night at midnight. I was hesitant because it shows what a huge dork I am, and also because I'm really not a huge Star Wars fan - I've seen the original three maybe one time each a long time ago, and I really disliked Episodes I and II. However, going was a major accomplishment because I a) managed to stay awake the entire movie, which is huge because I fell asleep in the middle of the midnight showings of two of three "Lord of the Rings" movies and also during Star Wars: Episode I. And b) didn't hate it. Now, before you laugh and point, I didn't LOVE it...I still think Natalie Portman is a bad actress* and there were a couple cringe-worthy, laugh-out-loud** cheesy moments. If you see it, watch for the bad, bad, bad scene where Anakin gets his Darth Vader costume and finds out Padme died***:

Darth Vader, while shaking his fists heavenward: "Noooooooo!"

It's bad. If you've seen it, you know what scene I'm talking about, and if you haven't seen it, you are obviously way cooler than me and have much better things to do Wednesday nights.

My suggestion? If you liked the original trilogy, but were turned off by I and II, go see it; it's not horrible. If you could care less, watch "Herbie: Fully Loaded" and see Lindsay Ho-han before she dies of malnutrition instead. I'm sure you'll enjoy it more.




* I think she's cute and all, and I liked her in "The Professional" and "Garden State," but I have yet to be blown away, or even knocked off-balance, by her acting skills.
** I didn't laugh out loud due to fear of gang retaliation by all of the mega-fans, but I would have if I was by myself.
*** Um, probably should have prefaced that with "Spoiler Alert", but if you didn't already know she died in this movie, then you probably don't care.

20 comments:

kate said...

Okay. First of all, I have never seen any of the Star Wars movies. I didn't even know that the original had three parts until right now. Hello. Don't ask me where I've been.

Second, I happen to like Natalie Portman. I think she's adorable and The Professional is one of my favorite movies (see my profile).

Third, I don't get what all the hoopla is about one stupid movie. People need to get lives!

Badpatty said...

Thanks for putting this up. I didn't get to catch the show last night, since I recently got married and "inherited" three children. I'm taking the whole mess of them to see it tonigh. I'm glad that you were able to stay awake through it, since that seems to be your litmus test for what is (or is not)a decent flick.

Sirius Green said...

Nope, didn't know that. Now I know Padme died and I wish I didn't. Grr.

Anonymous said...

To be fair, even I know that Luke and Leia's mom died from watching the original three...so you had to know it was coming! :)

scott c said...

JESUS! At least have the courtesy to put "SPOILERS" somewhere in the entry before spilling your guts about ep3!



...not that I'm a nerd and care about those things. er... um... Star Wars is for losers...
sc.

AlRo said...

Well - I could have seen it today, as many people at work went - but i was unable to .. cuz believe it or not.. at work.. I work... ...aaaaat playing mini-golf.. as Boutros will atest.

However, I, too, did not like the first two all that much. I enjoyed II more than I - and Portman isn't the weakest link in the band of actors.

I find that the casting in the top three movies was sad. The two guys that play Anakin and Obi-wan have HORRIBLE chemistry... it's like all they are doing throughout the first two movies is reading their lines...

The best scene in the second movie is when Anakin finally looses his cool - and he starts killing things and keeps his bloody mouth shut.

Ewen McGregor plays a horrible witty-guy .. he should stick to intense.

However -- Yoda rocks - the battles scenes rock.. so essentially - as long as the characters say nothing -- it rocks.

But i'm still looking forward to seeing the III installment.

Oh and uh... Lucas is producing a Live action TV series... so fans - look out for Luke's kids...

Geekbird said...

i saw the first three when i was like 8...hated episode one and haven't seen episode 2 and really dont care if i see this one.

bleh

You Can't Afford Me said...

thanks for stopping by my blog the other day!

like geekbird, i too saw the first three when i was a kid. i bought the trilogy and watch them all again as an adult. i did see episode I, but i had gotten so high before the movie that i can't even remember if i liked it or not. i never saw episode II, so i doubt i will go see III. (though i am almost tempted to go just to laugh and piss people off in the theater)

Paladin said...

I'm almost afraid to see it but it is getting 'better than expected' reviews from the paper and friends, so I am planning on it for probably after work next week.

Not sure if I'm getting old, or if it should just be a crime for young folk to post stuff, but I saw A New Hope (Episode 4, the Big One!) in theaters as a graduating teen- went with some other sci-fi geeks (mostly Trekkies at that time) and saw it in a big screen luxury theater in town.

Sigh. Few movies since have EVER recaptured that feeling for me. There was a slight tingle of that emotion during the opening bits of Episode 1... but not the original sense of absolute wonder.

Nic said...

In regards to Natalie Portman - have you seen "Beautiful Girls"? She's quite good in that movie. Also, she does a very good job in the more recent movie "Closer".

kari said...

Star Wars is all I hear about lately. So much so, that I really would like a pair of Yoda skin boots and a fuzzy Chubaca coat. Would PETA be pissed??

Tim said...

I agree with Nicole, NP was greatin Beautiful Girls and good in Closer.

The fist shaking scene was horrible. Sooo not darth vader. There were a few horrible scenes, but there were a few horrible scenes in the original triology. "Better than expected" is my review.

Anonymous Midwest Heckler said...

"Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith (longest movie title ever?)"--actually, not by a long shot. Look up "Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood"...slightly more lengthy.

AlRo said...

Here's an interesting list of the longest movie titles..

http://listology.com/content_show.cfm/content_id.11785

Don't you love Google?!

Mars said...

Haven't seen the movie yet, (haven't seen the second one either) but will probably do so this weekend. In case there are any other nerds out there: it sounds like Darth Vader copied Captain Kirk's lament at hearing of his son's death in Wrath of Kahn. Kaaaaaaaaahnnn!!!!! not that I'm sure that's how it went... but I remember the scene.

Maugham Malraux said...

Anyone who has seent he last of the original three films (Return) knows that Padme dies...sheeesh. Amatuers.

Phen said...

AMH - How bout this one:

"Doctor Strangelove: or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb"

An excellent movie by the way.

duff said...

i think the latest (which, yes, i was dorky enough to go see at midnight) is the best of the first three.

but now that the story is complete, what is there to look forward to?

i feel kind of bad for the real star wars geeks who now have nothing to look forward to, with the series complete.

JRae said...

For those people who have never seen any Star Wars movies EVER-

You really shouldn't be commenting AT ALL on the Star Wars phenomena until you have seen the 3 original movies. I mean really. You don't know shit about what you're talking about. Plus, you really should see them, at least to understand the cultural phenomena, if for nothing else. COME ON, PEOPLE!!! How can you not understand this part of American culture?!! That's like saying you've never heard of the Holocaust!!! It's just wrong.

Yes I compared Star Wars to the Holocaust. So shoot me.

That being said, Episode III was totally lame. I actually did laugh out loud at many parts, AMG (mostly the "love" scenes). But I went to a matinee so it was mostly kids, not uber-geeks who would beat me up. Either the dialogue was horrible or the actors didn't give a crap. I think a little of both.

drobby said...

Emperor Palpatine reminded me of Pat from SNL more than a few times, and I had to try not to laugh. Other times I couldn't help it, like when Vader yelled, "Noooooooooooooooooo!" And the Wookiee conversation: "Errrr!" "Arrrgg!" Just plain silly.