Thursday, August 25, 2005

Remember Goldmember in Austin Powers? Yeah, That's Me.

I have spent most of the past two days trying to keep my skin in one piece - and that one piece attached to my body - through a vigorous regimen that consists of applying copious amounts of aloe vera gel, lotion, and body oil to my poor, distressed skin. This effort has been woefully unsuccessful, as the skin on my shoulders and the back of my neck has decided I treated it so badly that the best thing for it to do is depart from my body, and it is now coming of in large sheets, possibly enough to feed the population of a small third world country. Tastes like chicken!

I might as well start skin cancer treatment now since it's inevitable down the line, especially now that I have flambéed it. Get a head start, you know? I don't remember ever being this badly burned. Well, actually, the weird thing is it's not really burned skin, it just turned really brown and leathery, and now it's peeling. It's really quite disgusting as is, but at least it never was red or blistery. I don't know if that's better or worse, though. Maybe it wasn't bad enough to burn, or maybe I skipped burning and went straight to charbroiled. I'll let you know in a few years.

And as promised to LocuTus (who had better have a picture of his nipple piercings up on his site), here, in honor of Half-Naked Thursday, is the first picture of my infamous belly button ring.


And to complete the trifecta of random musings, I found out yesterday that I'm going to be taking a business trip to Washington, D.C. at the beginning of next week. Normally, awesome, I love staying at a nice hotel and eating at nice restaurants on an expense account ("Why, yes, I'd love to try the filet mignon!"). HOWEVER, next week is my birthday. I will be spending my birthday alone and halfway across the country from anyone that loves me. I know there are thousands of soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan and other places that spend their birthdays alone too, and they have the added bonus of being shot at and shit, so I can't complain too much, but I am still totally bummed.

34 comments:

SirTalksALot said...

Hey check out Boozie and Weeee! They live in DC and must be the most fun in the whole town. (links are on my site) Happy Birthday early!!!!

Malia said...

Yep, his is up.

Malia

Gordy said...

We will all still love you from afar. Nice shot of your tum BTW, it really is my favourite part of the female body.

Sorry to hear about your sunburn, I have a similar problem, from the Chicago Air & Water show at the weekend, where I burned one side of my face and the accompanying ear..they are currently peeling, very unattractive!

Dirk the Feeble said...

I can tell by the picture that you have a great personality.

Blonde said...

Hot pic for HNT!

Have a safe trip to DC!

Boozie said...

Yeah, we're totally awesomely fun. DC is where it's at!

Avery said...

Being burnt and/or peeling is never fun. My little niece loves to peel skin. I makes me gag just thinking about it.

Sucks about your birthday but I'm sure you'll have all kinds of fun when you get back.

NCTRNL said...

I'd sop it up with a biscuit...

Justice said...

I don't blame you for being bummed. I think that really sucks too.

Pat said...

Nice six-pack! Hotness.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Avery,

When I was in Italy, one of the girls on the trip (Emily) was sitting next to me on this ferry ride to one of the islands. The teenage guy in front of us was sunburned and his back was peeling really badly. Emily tried and tried but could not resist reaching over and peeling the skin off. From a complete stranger! You can imagine the look on his face when he turned around and was like "WTF???"

Cass said...

When is your birthday? Mine is Aug. 30, Tues...Have a nice trip!

Thomas, the Retarded Monkey said...

Wow! Love the tan! It reminds me of a couch my grandma had - same kind of cracked old leather.

Oh these fond childhood memories... thanks for bringing them back.

Wez said...

I have always loved half naked Thursday.

Meg said...

even though it won't be the same since you won't be home...go out on your birthday! DC is a lot of fun, I lived there for four years.

hit up Adams Morgan - if you like the loud crowded clubs, or go to Georgetown if you're in the mood for something a bit classier.

Or go to the Irish Times near Union Station if you want to play pool. There's one table there, and tons of guys on the weeknights.

good luck!

mwp said...

I'll buy you a birthday beer if AMBF doesn't object. I'm pretty harmless...at least according to my Parole Officer.

hannah said...

You look like Goldmember, I look like a loaf of marble rye. My tan lines from the ol' bikini are intense.

Derek said...

HOT , Emily is hilarious I can just picture her right now trying not to look then looking back and forth classic

The Author said...

Aren't you a bit old to have a belly button ring?

(I tease, I tease...)

Happy pre-birthday AMG!

Tabu said...

Hey the belly button ring is cute. And you are never to old for one, at least that is what I tell myself for one I get one.. LOL, don't see any sunburn, just a tan, so you can hold off on the cancer treatments for now.. Sorry about your birthday, but think of this way, you can do whatever you want on that day in a strange town and noone will ever know and you can say, Hey it was my birthday and there was cheap alcohol involved. What happens in DC stays On the news 24/7.

jamwall said...

very nice!

Anonymous said...

This is Paladin again.

I am really bummed for you as well- although I know you like DC.

As for the burn- ouch, babe! Cool mists of water (maybe with a touch of Lidocaine for pain, to take off the edge), asprain or Ibuprophen, lots of water, and avoid too much lotion, etc. right now (it just traps the heat in. Let the body slough off the dead stuff so the new, healthy skin can grow out).

Mostly- STAY OUT OF THE SUN for a bit- burn on burn is REALLY bad for you and more painful. Strong SPF if you have to go out... like say for a bike ride picnic or anything!

Me said...

Love the bellybutton ring. I've always thought they make stomachs look so much prettier.

Happy Birthday - early! Have a birthday drink at the company's expense. Lots of drinks!!!

Chixulub said...

If you like DC, you'd flip for Leavenworth, KS. If anyting the one place you'll find more felons.

Except Leavenworth specializes in felons who've been caught instead of elected.

Thomas said...

Ah the old using "Half-Naked Thursdays" trick to increase traffic to your blog.

I like it!

Alexis said...

Awwwwww,Happy B-Day girlie!!! Sorry you can't be home - work that expense acct out, though!!! xxxxx

Habibi said...

DC is love - I couldn't think of any other place I'd want to spend my birthday!

I didn't know anything about half-naked Thursdays. All I'd heard about was cockblogging Wednesdays. Hmph. Oh well. I blog anonymously, so I couldn't partake, anyway. Someone may just recognize my navel!

You're very skinny. Are you SURE you're Midwestern? Just checking. Not to imply anything about Midwesterners, except we all like to eat, like, a lot...and I think you do, too, right? Okay, I'm just going to stop now.

K2 said...

And to think, while flying home from Ft. Lauderdale, I read in a Maxim that the Mayflower is a good place to meet people for random, away-from-home sexings, just because it's a classier joint without the seedier, cheaper guests...

AMBF is going to hurt me now for that...

S.Klassen said...

I think belly-buttons are ver sexy. nice pic

Memphis Steve said...

HELLO! Nice belly!

BTExpress said...

Great abs and a very sexy pic

john boy said...

Very nice.

And, Happy Birthday!

LocuTus of Borg said...

Happy birthday!! Great photo and that is nice belly ring :)

DIAMONDKT said...

I think it looks sexy!