Friday, February 09, 2007

Not To Mention I Always Wanted Her Hair....

I recently re-discovered an old favorite movie, a staple throughout my childhood, in the form of a two-disc special edition DVD.

But something disturbed me this time around. Ariel got married at 16?*

No wonder I feel like an old maid at the ripe old age of 26, Disney.

And how old was Eric, anyway? I'm not sure what the statutory rape laws are under the sea, but he had to be cutting it pretty close.

*Where was the moral uproar and public outrage? Were there no protests and boycotts over the fact that Disney was condoning underage wedlock? Do we have lesser standards for our mermaid sisters than we do our own two-legged daughters?

**For the record, and perhaps some public embarrassment, the combination of this movie and the movie Splash had me utterly convinced for quite a while that I was, without a doubt, a mermaid. I poured salt in my bathtub a la Madison, and when that didn't work to give me fins I reasoned that DUH, it was just a movie where that worked and obviously you had to be in the real ocean to switch. So on my first trip to the coast I kissed my mom goodbye and told her I was going to go live with my real family, my mermaid family, and ran into the water. The fact that nothing happened is a disappointment I'm still coming to terms with.


Ashley said...

I simply cannot tell you how adorable your avatar is, when I was little I had a dog that looked just like that named Scraps!

Oh and I thought I was a mermaid until last year!

Mombi said...

...Just discovered your blog today through Julie_Gong, and I think you're my new BFF. Love it!

ErinFaye said...

Ahhhh...No dildos on the cover of that edition.

Kadonkadonk said...

That fact that Disney likes to marry off underage mermaids is pretty low on my 'List of Reasons Why I Hate Disney', which goes something like this:

1. Women, regardless of age, HAVE to get married in order to have a happily ever after.

2. Disney completely changes the end of the story. Did you know that in the real Little Mermaid they cut out her toungue? No stealing her voice in the original. Granted, I like the less violent version of the Little Mermaid, but some of their other changes are just plain wrong.

3. Disney's portrayal of American Indians in Peter Pan.

4. Disney's portrayal of Arab's in Aladdin.

5. Corporate Disney's wages.

Do I really need to keep going?

Airam said...

I love that whole "bye mom i'm going to live with my real family in the sea" story.

I thought that I was a mermaid too and during my "Jem" days, I wanted pink hair. I also thought I could be a superhero during my "she-ra" phase.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Ashley - I probably would still believe it had not all my attempts to turn myself into one failed.

Mombi - Mombi + AMG = BFF 4 EVA!

ErinFaye - I know, I was bummed. But my original VHS totally has it.

Kandonkadonk - How about the fact that none of the girls have mothers? Disney must have had mother issues. As far as the original TLM story goes, I know it well...and Ariel having to kill Eric at the end in order to rejoin her family is definitely not Disney-kosher. Nor is her turning into foam at the end, thus negating the happily-ever-after-ness of the story. But what can I say? I still love Disney, even though being 1/2 Lebanese the portrayal of Arabs in the media is a hot button topic with me.

Airam - What little girl DIDN'T want pink hair at some point? :) I totally remember having a Jem barbie at some point. And a She-Ra one too, for that matter.

Julie_Gong said...

I hope the new masthead means you will be blogging more. I miss your wit.

THANKS for blog rolling me! Yea!!

Nocturnal said...

IC Disney fixed the cover this time around... in case you don't know the scoop:


Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Julie - Sorry it took so long to add you! I kept trying to keep a clean layout by not having pages and pages of links, but then I felt bad about not linking to all my favorite bloggers (like you) I finally decided to figure out the whole drop-down box HTML code. Also, I miss my wit, too. I'm not sure where it went.

Nocturnal - The dildo on the cover is right up there with the word "Sex" in the Lion King. Classic!

Trée said...

AMG, I think I like your hair better. Much more natural. :-)

CJM said...

Meh, it's not underage in the UK.

And thanks for the comment.

Calitri said...

I'm no expert - I've got a boating license and have gone snorkeling a hand full of times - but I'm pretty sure when "under da sea", anything goes. Or, at least that's what I tell all my laid friends.

As for Eric, in the immortal words of Mel Brooks, "It's good to be the king" or prince or whatever the hell he was.

For the record, and not because I'm trying to sound super manly here, I hate that movie. My best friend's little sister watched it every single day for a year and about three weeks in I wanted to throw myself into oncoming traffic every time Sebastian spoke/sang.

exile said...

i love redescovering an old favorite

recently i rediscovered "batteries not included"

Sexy Lexi said...

I'm loving your new masthead! I'm glad your wit is back. Because bringing wit back is just as hot as bringing sexy back. In my humble opinion.

Btw, I was a Cinderella girl. And a Pollyanna girl. But Ariel was in my top five.

Wez said...

Ariel is hot.

twobuyfour said...

I'm glad to read that you've found the cinemagraphic masterpiece in its 2 disc format. Take it from me, there's no possible way all of the glory that is The Little Mermaid could fit on merely one. I hope that brings you hours and hours of enjoyment.

PS: I'm not exactly "bringing sexy back", but mostly because I have no idea what that means.

PPS: You have a wonderful site here, and I'll be back for more of the frivolity.

PPPS: I thought the septagram was hilarious, but I'm too lazy to write a whole additional comment, so I'm just saying it here.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Tree - I do have to agree, my hair does have it's redeeming qualities. You might be right.

CJM - Sheesh, don't you guys have ANY standards over there?

Calitri - Don't lie. I'm pretty sure you have your own copy somewhere.

Exile - LOVE that movie as well. I wanted my own little robot guy!

Lexi - The sexy doesn't have to come back when you're around! My favorite Disney movie is actually Beauty and the Beast, but I never really "lost" that one since I still watch it fairly regularly. I even dragged AMBF to Kansas City to see it on IMAX once.

Wez - No shit she's hot. What Disney princess hasn't been?

2buy4 - Thanks and welcome! Believe me, even the TWO-disc set is struggling to contain the wonder of this movie. And you are definitely bringing sexy back. I think.

Jenni said...

Maybe Ariel is really from Alabama where underage marrige is allowed with parental consent.

Or maybe not.

Since I don't think a lobster and cute little yellow and blue fish could double as "parental consent."

Oh, and the fact that there is no "Sea" in Alabama.

I dunno. Nevermind.

Tawcan said...

This didn't happen in just The Little Mermaid. Seems to happen in all Disney films.

Jim said...

16? My nieces wont be getting this DVD from me, I wouldnt want them growing up to think this is normal or expected. And I wont even comment on the shell bathing suit :)

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Everything else in that movie but the age thing is totally believable. Singing crabs? Sure. I trained the ones in my pants to sing Have You Seen Her by The Chi-Lites. They really nail those "ba-ba-ba's."

sage said...

Oh gee, I'm going to have to steal this dvd from my daughter! Don't want her to get the wrong idea. But I don't have to worry about her wanting to be a Mermaid, it took years to get her to put her head under the water

sue said...

Like the new look!

Yeah, Disney had lots of issues... I mean, really. Who wants to play with kids that much? Oh. Nevermind. I don't wanna know.

Baba Ganoush said...

I'm confident that if this were released today, some group would stage a sit-in.

Eve said...

I never thought I was a mermaid, I just wanted to be one. And her seashell bikini (sans string) is the epitome of hot. I still search for the like.

And looking for misogynism in Disney is almost as easy as it is infuriating, but I still sing Little Mermaid songs in the shower.

Hanmee said...

I don't have a problem with a happy ending involving a man, though I certainly don't think it's NECESSARY.

However, I DO think there would have been a reaction if it had been a younger man and an older woman because OF COURSE that's weird. (Well, unless you're a guy and then you think it's hot?)