Thursday, April 28, 2005

Hello, I'm STARVING Behind You!

Or, "How to irritate the holy crap out of me."

Bring ingredients to make your own burrito to work, with each ingredient in separate containers (no, it's not the Mexican food that irritates me...wait for it...). The proceed to use ALL OF THE MICROWAVES in the breakroom to warm up each ingredient separately. Tortilla in one, meat in another, refried beans in a third, and so on until each microwave is being used. NEVER MIND THE FIVE PEOPLE WAITING BEHIND YOU. We can wait until your burrito is cooked to perfection before we eat. Oh, you also brought rice as a side and you need to warm that up too? NO PROBLEM. Go right ahead. Eating is overrated, anyways. And of COURSE you need to assemble said burrito right in front of the microwaves so access is still denied to all others. OF COURSE. If you finally finish and you find nothing but skeletons behind you, kindly sweep us to the side so others don't have to suffer our same fate.

Jerkface.

17 comments:

The Author said...

People like that piss me off to no end.

Good rant!

scott c said...

You probably don't need that meal anyways, AMG. Seriously. No. Seriously.

//dodges flying shoe of judo death.

At school, there are (were :tear:) only two microwaves for 180 people who all have break at noon. Most people also bring those frozen solid weight watcher thingies that take 6 minutes to cook. I also get dirty looks when I ask to cut for 45 seconds to warm up a piece of pizza. Bitches, man.

Good rant. Really hit on an emotional truth there.
sc.

Elijah said...

LOL...what an a-hole
better not to use the microwave anyway..the government is using them as population control
http://rantastic1.blogspot.com
DO NOT CLICK THE RED LINK

Anonymous said...

Well yes, good rant and all, I just thought after yesterday's post of sin there might be a little compassion shown today, you know; to square things up with God and all.

Oh well, hell it is.

But that is ABSOULUTELY OUTRAGEOUS!!
I think you should have taken the situation in hand and said something. Who does this jerk think he is?
The boss?

(Oh, was it? In which case it is perhaps best to admire his/her burrito making skill. And comment on their lovely choice of tie.)

Seriously though, that is OUTRAGEOUS!!

*

DJ said...

suggestion-bring a bagged lunch next time.

but i feel the pain, even tho i've never experienced it personally[thankfully].

Zodiac Digital said...

no connection between you and the rapper AMG, right?

he had an album entitled "Greatest Humps"

..::Meems::.. said...

I have no patience for people like that.

I would've pushed him.


Fo reals yo.

Kitsune said...

See. you -knew- laughing at that picture was going to come back to you.

You should check your local laws. I think taunting someone with a burritto is grounds for justifiable homicide. Most states allow you to bludgeon the offender to death with any handy blunt object, but a few (Texas, Arizona, and most of the South) allow firearms.

Geekbird said...

If you take the boutros comment, jumble it around and omit some words while repeating others, he says...

People piss on me good, me like, me like

(no boutros)

Brad said...

More than one microwae at work = cool.

One person using them all = not cool.

Mac said...

It's amazing that they are so self-absorbed that they would not realize!

Robert said...

There is this group of Vietnamese where I work who always eat together and they always seem to eat a 10 course meal. We've only got one microwave. It would be more frustrating I think if it were five.

sideshow bob said...

That reminds me of the other day when I was waiting in line at a convenience store. They've decided to renew license plates there now. So I got to wait at the only open register for over five minutes while this guy (w/ dubious looks, maybe shady dealings, etc.) trys to renew his plates. Then after that he decided to buy some lottery tickets, and of course he scratches them off before he leaves the counter. He then walked out and leaned casually on his car while talking on his phone. He wasn't paying attention; I could have keyed his car, but I had to get back to work...oh the things employment has kept me from vandalizing.

The Ruler said...

Anonymous (I know your name, and I see where you hands go at night) encouraged you to square things up with me.

Just to put you all at ease – if things were any more square, you’d cut your little mortal fingers on the edges.

This was God

John S. said...

You need to tell your office to get some of the super powered microwaves we have. They cook stuff in about 1/4 the time a normal microwave does.

So inevitably people use it for the first time, and even when warned abot the power of the super microwaves, only put their lean cuisine in for 3 minutes figuring half the recommended cooking time is good.

Wrong! It still come out as semi-solid lumps of charcoal.

The benefit is you can heat a cup of water to near boiling in 40 seconds.

The Kraken said...

PLEASE tell me you, or somebody, went off on this person! Who, in their right mind, would ever do that and just be completely oblivious to the inconvenience they were creating? If it's any consolation to you, they probably got diarrhea from a microwave burrito.

Paladin said...

They shall have their own punishment. www.straightdope.com just posted that microwaves may indeed NOT be as safe as we think.

In the meantime, it seems that a coordinated strike is called for- 4 of you next time just step up to 4 microwaves, remove the offending food, and toast your own. The message should be that using 1 unit is OK but hogging them all is grounds for retaliation.