Monday, April 04, 2005

No More Pope

So...the Pope is dead. Having gone to an all-girl's Catholic high school (complete with those fantasy-inducing plaid skirt uniforms) I probably should be more upset about this...but the dude was 84. I mean, that's old.

During our "Pope Watch" on Friday and Saturday, I wanted to start a pool for when it would happen, but some people in the group feared that, already being well on the path of going straight to hell, this might push them over the edge. I, however, think God probably has a sense of humor and would have enjoyed it. Look at penises (penii?). Those things are funny. And, in retrospect, was it really such a good idea to have it all just hanging out like that? God obviously did that strictly for the hilarity that ensues when a male is hit by something in the genital area. The faces you men make! Ha! Ha!

So God probably wouldn't have had anything against our Pope Pool.

13 comments:

The Author said...

You could have had a side-bet with people to see if they could name 2 of the Cardinals participating in the conclave. You would have made a fortune!

I only know anything because I just read "Angels and Demons" (Dan Brown).

I wonder if someone's planning a similar event right now...

Anonymous said...

Cardinal Angelo Sodano and....
Damn it!
You're right, I would be forking out the cash...
Wait! Cormac Muyrphy-O'Connor, crap! He's an Archbishop.

Ehhh, Cahil Daly! YEsssssss!
I rule!

Oh God, I am so sad.

And also sad about the whole Pope thing. Do we get a day off to mourn the dude?

Not to be dis-respectful but he WAS 84. I hope I make it that far.
2 more years...

*

Dave Morris said...

I have already secured lodging in hell, it's a dandy condo with a view of the lake. (of fire) So I'm so disappointed I missed a papal wager!

But I'm completely over the initial pain of your words about hitting the male genitalia.

I'm NOT completely over your words about the catholic skirt.

scott c said...

AMWG,

Long time reader, first time commenter...

It's completely necessary for everything to "hang out" (as you put it). The testes must be kept at a temperature slightly lower than that of the rest of the body in order to properly make sperm. *Joke that I graciously omitted goes here, because I'm a gentleman.* Anymore questions about cock or balls, I'm your guy.

Wait, I should have thought about that more before I let it out of my mouth.

Wait...



er...




//kills self

Hoagie1 said...

I believe in Vegas you could bet on when the Pope was gonna go.

Nam LaMore said...

With Terri Shiavo and Pope John Paul II dead .. who do we have on the Death Watch now?

Gerald Ford, perhaps? We have a long time to wait for Scott Peterson, so I'm sure there are lots of others before him.

Walking Wounded said...

Hey don't forget Perdue and Johnnie Cochran, usually deaths happen in threes not fours, wtf?

Yeah, God prolly made penii out of humor, especially when we get out of the ocean. The amount of shrinkage still amazes me and entertains everyone else. ;)

Peace.

The Tremulant Sings said...

No way, you guys are all missing the mark here. "God" made penises the way they are because he (more likely she) is a cruel God. That area is the first gone for by a woman scorned, and I think it was in the plan all along. Even kids know that it's the fastest way to bring a man down. Maybe it was meant to be our Achilles heel?

Geez said...

Hey don't feel bad, my mom was (subtley) hoping the pope wouldn't pass on a Saturday (he eventually did) because the newspaper she works for doesn't have a Sunday edition--thus being a day late on the story and losing circulation.

Kind of like the penis when you get out of the pool.

I thought that was a pretty good segue, eh? eh?

Walking Wounded said...

AOP,

Even if God is a she, actually who better to design the perfect phallus really, I don't think she is a cruel God. Just a bit of a goof at heart. Besides, if she really were cruel then she wouldn't let my penus grow so large. Now that was blunt but the hell with it...

Actually, men don't owe God for their penii, just their Moms!

Thank you, Ma! :)

Peace.

Walking Wounded said...

The penus isn't our Achilles heel. Our egos are. They are more easily broken than even our balls!

Peace.

pangolin said...

Actually, I think that if God was really a woman than She would have designed men to have the penis attached to the chin. Think about it.

Blogbelle said...

God had to have been a man. A woman would've made the penis prettier and better tasting, and she would've given herself one, too. She would've known that women would get tired of dealing with men sooner or later.