Wednesday, May 11, 2005

God Loves Me So Much.

Okay, I had the World's Most Boring Post Ever* up today, when something miraculous happened.

I have a candy dispenser on my desk filled with the manna** of the Gods (also known in some parts as M&Ms), as you can see here:


You can clearly see that there is an equal distribution of colors - orange, blue, yellow, green, brown, and red, all sitting happily in a color-blind society of candy-coated chocolate.

Today, I went to satisfy a chocolate fix, and received this in return:


I AM NOT KIDDING. That is what you think. An entire handful of blue M&Ms. What are the chances? I swear this is not a cleverly designed publicity stunt.*** It must be a sign from God. I don't know what it means, but I plan to find out. In the meantime, I think I will sell these "Miracle M&Ms," as I have taken to calling them, on eBay. The reserve will be set pretty low, like maybe $10,000, so bid early and bid often!


* Let's just say it involved the bowel movements of a Pomeranian and punctuation.
** "Spiritual nourishment of divine origin," for those of you who didn't attend Catholic school for twelve years.
*** But if anyone at CNN wants to contact me, my email is on my profile.

27 comments:

Tony said...

for God has truly smiled upon you today...considered yourself blessed...now devour your manna and reflect on this wonderous event...

pookie69 said...

Heehee - wow - that's so cool! :)

justin said...

Too bad they weren't green M&M's.

Cause those taste better.

Rob said...

I'm thinking of making an AMG piece of toast and putting that up on Ebay... should fetch at least the 15G that runaway bride piece of toast did.

Proud Husband said...

Assume there are 6 M&M colors in equal numbers in the candy machine. It looks like you got 13 blue candies in you hand....So the probablility is 1 in 13,060,694,016. You should have played the lottery that day.

Anonymous said...

I thought that AMG and the runaway bride were the same person! Check out the photgraphic evidence. It's undeniable!

NYPinTA said...

Signs from God fall into two catagories:
1) You have been chosen as a prophet and will be severly tested while bringing forth his word.
and
2) The end of the world is nigh.

My advice: Eat the M&Ms! Quickly! And forget it ever happened.
And I am not going anywhere near my jelly belly jelly bean dispenser...

lindsey said...

if those were green, you and AMB would have quite the day ahead of you.
THERES SOMETHING ABOUT THE GREEN ONES.

Geez said...

Shouldn't the savory taste of M&M's be a sufficent sign from God? Now you're just getting greedy.

Roy said...

Amazing. You should relay your story at once to the editors over a M&M Magazine.

scott c said...

Did you notice that in the picture there are 13 blue M&Ms? I'm all for optimism and stuff, but couldn't this be a BAD omen as well?

Don't die.
sc.

Paladin said...

But I WANT to hear about the pomeranian!

echrai said...

One word: Smurfs.

Paradigm Shifter said...

I think everybody likes you...how could they not?

Feynman said...

Complexity theory often masks first principle calculations due to chaotic and powerful influences.

Example: When christians calcualte the probability of life forming in the universe based on first priciple physics they get a large number.
however, they get a large number if tehy try to predict the formation of the liquid phase of water.

Just Some Guy said...

The stars have aligned and the winds are changing(*cough cough*lionkingreference*cough cough*) something good will come to you...maybe <-My fortune cookie prediction.


P.S. Don't whore your blog in my comments, or i'll do the same :-D
www.n0her0.blogspot.com

Robert said...

I think I see Jesus in the pattern of the M&Ms.

Busty Wilde said...

Are you sure this wasn't a publicity stunt?

NJ said...

I think you should eat them, They'll probably give you some kind of kick ass super-powers!

God said...

I thought you'd like that, AMG.

Like it's been said before. I tend to work in mysterious ways. I think I like the little miracles best.

- God

Wigwam Jones said...

I grew up in San Jose, Illinois. Population 400. Pronounced "San Joe's" not "San Ho-Say." That's pretty much right in the middle of the middle mid west, I think. A highway runs through it on the way to Normal. And that's pretty weird about the M&M's.

The Author said...

That's the coolest thing ever. Put it on ebay. No seriously... I'd do it! It will only cost you a few pennies to post it and you could make a fortune! Just look at ME :-)

Dave Morris said...

Prediction:

If you had randomly dropped those M&M's on the table, they would have assembled themselves into an image of the virgin Mary. Pilgrimages from all corners of the world would have converged on your candy machine. It would have been annointed idol status, plated in gold and carried through the streets of your city as onlookers gazed, cried and prayed.

You're lucky.

Bridget Unnel said...

OH. MY. GOD. I have the same exact one and it's filled with "emmers", too!! Strange thing is that mine dispensed a handful of Reece's Pieces the other day. I knew I saw an ET hanging out in our closet the other day...

JRae said...

Maybe it's a sign that the blue M&M's shouldn't have replaced the autumn brown ones. I miss those. :(

The Ruler said...

This is God

And you still doubt me? Jeez what does a God have to do to get your attention? Just don’t blame me when you have glow in the dark children with 16 fingers and your hair turns into molasses. That’ll just be little old God… acting out… feeling fine… being ignored.

This was God

Anonymous Midwestern Fetish Freak said...

I really appreciate a photo of your hand holding the M's, but what I'd really like is a photo of your feet sprinkled with M&M's. I'd prefer yellow and blue M's, but whatever works for you is fine, I'm not being picky here.

Thanks in advance.