Monday, June 27, 2005

So... Many... Jokes... Must... Refrain...

You know a news story is going to be good when it has the word "erect" in the first sentence. I bolded the best parts for you, just in case you don't have a dirty mind.

Snapple’s attempt at popsicle world record turns into gooey fiasco

NEW YORK - An attempt to erect the world’s largest popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.

The 25-foot-tall, 17½-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.

Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.

“What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming,” Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. “It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast.”

[Insert your own erect/sticky/kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid/surgary goo/fluid just kept coming joke here.]

17 comments:

jevanking™ said...

Yes, I have that problem too when I'm really hot. The fluid just keeps coming.

Ewww. That was gross.

Polly Prissy-Pants said...

That's cool. How stupid are they??

Nic said...

This is the kind of news story the world needs more of! However, I always preferred grape popsicles. Strawberry-Kiwi popsicles sound too healthy!

The Man said...

Having to wash away a flood of sticky goo with hoses... it's prom night all over again.

Don't ask.

Walking Wounded said...

Yeah, whatever marketing intern thought of this stunt should not be allowed to work a helpdesk, let alone an ad campaign. The city was definitely hot as hell. The past two weekends, the flat foots could barely keep up with all the parades. Kevlar is hot in the sun, yo!

Peace.

kate said...

Erect and sticky mess in the same sentence is even worse! Hahahaha... :)

scott c said...

You said "insert."

heh
sc.

** said...

hey anonymous midwest girl. thank you so much for dropping by and enjoying the eel. i got it at an A.C.Moore craft store where i used to work(used to, as of saturday). by the way, how did you come to my site? just curious.

i will abstain(leave it alone...please) from making a joke on the snapple debaucle.

hope you come back sometime, much love,

justin

http://justincash.blogspot.com/

http://justinmcashportfolio.blogspot.com/

ZuphChic said...

I wonder if the genius at Snapple who came up with this brainstorm still has a job...

Innocent Bystander said...

I think it worked perfectly, they got far more attention for it cocking up than they ever would for it working.... and we get to make jokes about sticky messes!

Geez said...

Is there such a thing as a popsicle prophylactic?

allison said...

I don't know why anybody would complain. Hell, aside from subway stress tests and STD's nothin' is ever free in New York. Free Snapple! They shoulda' just handed out straws!

Me said...

I couldn't have said it better myself. Their choice of words in the article is genius.

The Lazy Iguana said...

This is classic. 17.5 tons of snapple. How many gallons is that? Lets estimate!

1 gallon of water weighs 8 pounds. There are 2000 pounds in a ton. So one ton of water = 250 gallons. Times 17.5 that is 4,375 gallons. Approximatly.

Miss_Vicki said...

Did anybody get to lick it? Hey, somebody had to ask! :op

Gadfly said...

The "Peter North" of erections

:phil: said...

I wonder if it had a Viagra coating, if it would have stayed 'erect' longer?