Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I Like My Dryer Because It Eats My Socks.

I really dislike socks. When I was a little girl I hated them. I've downgraded my vengeance for them a bit since then, but I still would much rather go barefoot or wear sandals than entrap my feet in a swath of tight-fitting fabric.

As a child, I would throw a fit any time my mom tried to enslave my feet in cotton. Which posed a problem since I went to a Catholic school, and part of the uniform included the wearing of socks. It happened more than once that we would arrive at school, and my mom would discover only then that I had removed my socks and was wearing just tennis shoes. This would inevitably lead to a trip to the principal's office, where they would hunt through the lost and found box for a pair of socks for me to wear. You would think that having to wear used, crusty, smelly, stained old gym socks that obviously belonged to a boy five grades ahead of me would have dissuaded me from that trick, but it didn't. I hated socks that much.

At one point I discovered that they didn't bother me as much if I wore them inside out. My mom, just glad that I wasn't screaming bloody murder every morning anymore, quite happily allowed me to do that. And really, who cares if a six-year-old has her socks on inside out? I'll tell you who. My grandma. I had spent the night there for some reason (my mom was probably off birthing one of my three siblings, but I don't remember) and the task of making sure I was ready for school fell to my grandma. When I went to put on my socks, she refused to let me wear them inside out. I don't remember the details, but I know I wasn't happy and expressed myself both vocally and physically. I vaguely remember my aunt saving the day by saying "Oh, for heaven's sake, Mom, just let the brat wear them inside out." (I don't think she called me a brat out loud, but no doubt that's what she was thinking.) So my grandma relented, but surely was horrified and embarrassed that a granddaughter of hers was going to be in public wearing inside-out socks.

I don't think she's forgiven me to this day.

33 comments:

The Other Half said...

i thought i was the only one that had a sock fetish!! only mine extends to any kind of shoe that i can't slip on and has open toes and open heel

Jennifer said...

Unfortunately I hate sock too. I don't remember hating them as a child, btu I think sometime around college (when I was forced to wear "closed-toed shoes" in all my labs it hit me. So of course I become a research chemist and have to wear them EVERY DAY. Oh, and it's not just socks, it's anything that encloses my feet. If I could live in bare feet and sandals I would - dang safety rules!!!!

nic3oz said...

When I was little I was obsessed with my socks. It would take me forever to get them to look "just right and cool"...Now I hate them too :)

kate said...

I, too, hate socks and shoes. I prefer to be barefoot as much as I can. In fact, I'm sitting at my desk at work right now with my flip flops kicked off to the side somewhere. It's great.

I never understood people (like my mom) who even sleep with socks on. What the heck is that about? LOL.

Storm said...

Kate, I'm one of those retards that sleeps in her socks! Don't ask me why I do...I just do!

I seldom wear shoes though. I always have my Birkenstocks on or I'm barefooted. I only wear socks at night. Wasn't that a song title? No, that was, "I Wear Sunglasses at Night".

Justice said...

OK, I'm still trying to imagine a lost and found sock box. Why does that seem strange to me? LOL

Chixulub said...

My youngest daughter, we have to hide the flip flops when it starts snowing because I swear she'd never wear any other kind of shoe. And she literaly jumps out of them upon entering the house or anywhere else. Pure vertical, and the flip flops are spaced exactly like she was still standing in them.

"Put your shows on," and she jumps on them. Somehow her toes actually line up in flight and she lands in them walking to the car.

Sneakers and socks in the winter, it's a battle every time. She'd go barefoot in the snow if you let her (she's run out the front door, barefoot into the snow).

It's really just the most extreme example of a family-wide trait that often extends to clothing of any kind. I might have to blog about that.

QueSaraSara said...

When I was a kid, my problem was that I would only where socks that had a seam that came up over the toe. The idea of the seam running along the ends of my toes and (I thought) under my toenails creeped me out to no end. So whenever my mom took me shopping for socks we had to hunt through pair and pair looking for that elusive brand that featured over-the-toe seams.

Chris F. said...

If socks didn't keep my feet from being smelly, I'd never wear them. I don't like to ahve to put them on, mostly because they look lame hanging out over shoes, when I'm wearing shorts...but then anklet socks look too girly...ack...what to do!

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

All you people have no idea how gratifying it is to know that I am not the only one who hates wearing socks. Thank god. I can cross that off my "Things that make me a freak" list.

Captain Bee said...

Man, I love socks. I love them a lot.

I hate sandals or flip-flops or anything of the sort.

scott c said...

I wish they still made those long tubes socks with the stripes towards the top (about the mid to upper calf area). Those are bomb.

I usually see some a Goodwill, but I have rule about buying used undergarments and that rule extends to socks.
sc.

Derek said...

Reading this kind of reminds me of Dot from mad tv and her socks

Little Miss said...

my aunt used to call me a little shit, and she made no effort to hide it from me.

and when i was little, I refused to wear socks that had the toe line on the edge. it drove me crazy. my socks had to have the toe line across the top of my toes.

perhaps I was a little shit after all.

Nadia said...

I like socks. They do a good job keeping my feet warm.

I'm wearing them inside out right now.

And yeah, Brad Pitt was yummy with a shaved head; he's young enough. ;)

Psycho Billy Cadillac said...

Catholic School will do shit like that to your head. I don't think it's so much you as it is your early development under the establishment of Catholisism. I remember Those damn polyester pants back before the days of dockers and those fucking knee patches that were consistent with the make up of a diesel tire which mom would always insist on so they'd last more than 3 damn years... Shit on the polo shirt as well. I refuse to wear them to this day. What I'm foolishly blabbing about is that when your told to wear the same shit to school day in and day out you find ways to stand out... Whether to rebel from society or from your restricted comfort, everybody had some kind of obsessive compulsive distraction as a result of the Catholic Uniform. Thank God for the plaid mini skirt though, they are the only reason I made it through all 12 years with at least partial sanity. I think partial, maybe?

Shungmanituthanka said...

great blog.
beautifull woman...see you in mi blog
big hug from colombia southamerica
bye
RAFAEL

Anonymous said...

Well there's one benefit to you hating socks: you don't do what most midwestern people do. Most wear sandals with socks! YUCK!

Ali said...

Just wondering, since you live in the midwest, and don't like socks. How are winters for you? Do you just not wear socks and then go to work? Smellly feet?!

Johnny Menace said...

the worst is when a girl where's socks to bed and won't take them off during sex.... horrible.

JordanBaker said...

My childhood hatred of socks was a matter of degrees: hated socks; really hated knee socks; pitched a screaming shit fit if they tried to put tights on me. Now that my parents live too far away for one of them to sit on me while the other one crams my feet in, I only wear them in winter and to the gym.

The inside out thing might have some logic, though--a friend in college told me she had to wear socks inside out because the nubby inside part chafed her feet.

MrNoxious said...

Hmmm, having to wear used, crusty, smelly, stained old gym socks that obviously belonged to a boy five grades ahead - I think you'll find they were "wank-socks"

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Jordan, oh, god, I HATE tights and pantyhose. I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of them. Ghiyasuddin, I do wear socks. I just don't like to. In the winter I usually wear socks under a pair of knee-high boots.

lowk said...

I wish I could go barefoot like you. I'm just a tenderfoot. Besides, women look sooo sexy barefoot

Applewhite said...

I hate socks too. I try to wear flip-flops as much as possible.

mernitman said...

Grandmas seem genetically hardwired for this kind of maintenance. Or do they all take a course at the Keep Grandchildren in Line School? One of mine was just as eagle-eyed and being proper-obsessed... I remember one time she looked after me when I was sick and her prime preoccupation was making sure that my hands remained outside the bedcovers and not, you know, where they weren't supposed to be (according to Grandmother Security Regulations #349A)... Anyway, this is funny stuff!... Coincidental/ synchronistically, you might want to take a look at my post from yesterday, "By the Mountain of Lost Socks": www.livingromcom.typepad.com

LocuTus of Borg said...

Bare foot all the way!! Socks suck! On the weekends - only time I wear socks is when running - besides that sandals all the way baby!

btw never lost a sock in the dryer, so the dryer fairys must love me - or they think my socks are too smelly >:P

Billy said...

Wendi,
Love the entry. Thanks for checking out my newly created blog. Isn't bloggin' a blast? There are so many creative people out there with fascinating ways of looking at everyday things. Wendi, I want to contact you somehow.

I'm gonna plug my new blog since I just began a few short weeks ago. It is "benignbluntness.blogspot.com"

Have a splendid day everybody.

Timmortal said...

Dear Anonymous,

I'm not a big fan of socks myself...especially sleeping with them. Seems that alot of people have the same feeling. Come to think of it, maybe that's why we started making puppets out of them and using them as dusting rags. Hmmm...

dub said...

holy cow. i guess I'M actually the weird one cause i LIKE socks. especially these isotoner socks i bought awhile ago because they were on sale. they're the most comfy things ever! it's like wearing a down comforter on your feet.

and the people who wear socks and sandals are stupid. oh wait, i married one. blast.

Video X said...

hahahaha! thats funny. i agree w/ your sock hatred. i am a huge fan of flip flops. even in the winter. even for formal events...yes, you can find formal flip-flops!

NCTRNL said...

I must say I feel pretty insignificant being comment #32. I'll try either way. I don't do well with sandals. I wear the little ankle socks all year around. Maybe that's weird...

Gordy said...

Not sure I would say I hate them, but I definitely prefer to go without them; but them I generally feel so warm that I would happily go without most clothes, but that's probably TMI :-)