Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Bringing a Whole New Meaning to "Your Mom" Jokes.

Do you remember, as a kid, there was always that one kid's house that everyone wanted to hang out at, because his mom was so cool? She was always so nice, always had a yummy treat ready for anyone that stopped by (lemonade in the summer, hot chocolate in the winter, and a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies), and you thought the kid was the luckiest SoB on the planet? Well, this mom was that lady and so much more.



My mom is one cool cat, and gorgeous to boot, but I would venture to guess that I would find her hosting sex parties for my friends a very uncool activity.

29 comments:

mwp said...

Those kids have the best "your mom" busts in the history of secondary education.

Storm said...

My oh my! I wonder how cool she is perceived to be now!!!

Me said...

That's scary. And downright wrong. That's like the parents that supply alcohol to all the high school kids for their "get-together's". I had a friend whose mom did that.

Ok, so supplying alcohol isn't like having sex with them. But you know what I mean. Illegal.

justin said...

What a sleepover.

Anonymous said...

Sigh.

Why didn't I grow up in Golden, Colorado?

Jimmy: "Mom, can I stay over at Bobby's house tongiht?"

Mom: "Jimmy, you've stayed over there every night this week! His Mom must be sick of you coming."

Jimmy: "She don't mind. She says I put a smile on her face."


What she did was wrong but you know as a high-school boy, it would have been so right.

Bad Mom. BAD.

Sigh.
Golden, Colorado.

*

MrNoxious said...

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know. (Wo wo wo).

mwp said...

Wow, my comment would've been much more clever if I had noticed the flipping title of AMG's entry...

It's been a long day.

Magnum D.I. said...

God I love these stories, they're so wrong, they're good. I bet this mom isn't that bad looking either, because all the women teachers they have been busting for sex with their students are all uber-hot. What is that about? A few weeks ago they were interviewing the now ex-husband of one of the teachers, now why oh why would this jackass go on television. Dude, you are so bad in bed, your wife was sleeping with 15 year olds to get her kicks, I'd keep my mug off the airwaves if you ever want to date again.

yournamehere said...

My friend's moms all looked like Rosie O'Donnell without the money, so this would have been of no use to me.

Shane said...

If that mom's hot it's okay. If not, (which I'm guessing is probably the case) she's just a piece of your typical trailer trash.

Van! said...

if you have a sex party...can I cum ;-)

Justice said...

Amazing...totally amazing. I imagine her house was very popular.

Beelzebub said...

Anonymous Midwest Girl
you should take us VERY seriously your eternal afterlife depends on us. otherwise you could end up like this crazy mother, what a sinner. we have made you a member in hopes that you will repent your sins and be saved.
our god vengfull god, sinners repent!!!

Raja said...

Hi ur blog is amazing i wish i have this ;)

jamwall said...

i'm gonna start a new porno magazine based on the concept of repenting. i'm calling it "repenthouse" and will probably kick off the "crazy mom who hosts sex parties and the people that make them repent."

what do you think? any other ideas for features? let's pull our heads together on this one! yeah!

G-Man said...

Geez! Some teenagers will bang anything...

Chixulub said...

I had a friend who's Mom might have made such headlines if she'd been caught.

In retrospect, she was very careful, but she provided liquor, considered Playboy a harmless bathroom reader, and figured teenagers would fuck but ought to at least use a rubber.

She also took any of us who were willing to church. Russian Orthodox Church, go figure.

As a parent, I can't say I hope my kids meet quite such a second mother. On the other hand, the transgressions I committed were over a better safety net than a lot of my peers enjoyed.

Which would you rather? Your seventeen year old doing shots with other teens and then driving himself home, or doing shots with monks and being driven home by a sober adult?

Sex parties? No, this Mom would have wanted to participate and wasn't exactly the kind of Mom teenage boys wanted to hook up with physically. But she definitely contributed to my delinquancy, among others.

Oddly, her son was a teetotaler who never got a taste for booze.

Applewhite said...

That ups the definition on MILF.

Nadia said...

Yowza.

The Everglades said...

How come I never find crazy news stories like this on my own?

Blake

Walking Wounded said...

What is a teetotaler?

This story really drives the phrase, "I like 'em young, dumb and full of cum!"

Yeah, I would keep my mug out of the press spotlight too if I lost my wife to a 15 y/o piss pot with baggy draws and a hard on! But vanity has no boundry at all. We all remember Bobbitt's antics post-CHOP, right?

Peace

illimitable voices said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr_funkyFresh said...

I imagine now that the mom will host parties in jail for prisoners. And the kids will continue partying in her home.

The Other Half said...

ummm...ok...i would be mortified...i like to pretend my mom doesn't know what sex is...

JJ said...

The idea, the very notion, of your mom having sex with your friends is disturbing on so many levels there are probably already a dozen book deals in the works.

echrai said...

I heard about this on the radio yesterday... she claims she didn't fit in when she was in high school and now she felt like part of the group. I'm sorry, but to me that SCREAMS get some psychological treatment, lady. And drugs. Not the kind you were offering your kid's friends though. How scarred must that child be?

mysterygirl! said...

Ew! I'm in my twenties and am repulsed by the idea of doing 15 year olds... what could possibly be their appeal when a woman is 40? Well, maybe just availability?

LocuTus of Borg said...

I don't know ... having sex with my friend's mom - she better be fuckin' damn hot and big tits!

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

My mom was one of those "cool" moms that provided alcohol at my parties. She even provided a basket of condoms near the bar in our basement. It's amazing she never got caught. It should have been a huge sign that cars were lined up for blocks and teenagers walking into my house. But since she took away keys at the entrance and promoted safe sex, all is good right?