Wednesday, July 20, 2005

New From Mattel! It's Workout Barbie!

You know that girl at the gym? The one that wears a sports bra over a push-up bra over her silicone-inflated breasts? And the push-up bra is half showing? And she has those tight little leggings on that sit low enough to show off her dangly belly button ring? And her heavily highlighted waist-length hair is down, framing her perfectly made-up face? And she wanders around the gym stretching sensuously, although she hasn't touched a single weight or cardio machine? Guys, go ahead and ogle her. Ask her out if you want. IT'S WHY SHE'S THERE. Those of us who are actually there to work out are sweaty, have our hair in ponytails, and are actually using the equipment. Please don't bother us. Bother her.

29 comments:

Robb said...

I'm just working out and watching the "rest of you" ladies. I am keeping to myself and not bothering anyone. One thing I learned by watching a friend...you DON'T approach a woman at the gym!

Great blog!

NCTRNL said...

I like the sweaty ones. There's this one at the YMCA that I go to that is pretty cute. I would never bother a girl at the gym though. It's one of the last places you can still go and not get bothered. Sweaty is good though...

King Nate Unknown said...

I admire the scene but I don't talk to anyone. Unless you are using my bike, then I stare daggers at you in disgust. Why? Because you have figured out that I only like one bike in the whole cardio area and you've put you areobisized ass on it when I need to use it.

Skeezix said...

Oh god, I see these women at my gym too. Except mine seem to be wearing large hoop earings in addition to the other accruements you have described.

I'm the girl on the machines that looks beet red and sweating like fiend whose been without his fix for 4 days.

Fred said...

Hmmm. I haven't been to the gym in ages, but I suddenly feel like I want to get in shape.

hansen said...

saw a link to yours from a friends...good blog...however some of us buff guys are there to work out to so leave us alone...we dont need girls crowding our workout space while we are trying to get our buff on. yeah right...there is not a guy in the world who would not stop working out to let a girl talk to him....it's just the way we are wired

kari said...

Kind of makes you want to learn to snap a towel reeaaalllly hard huh?

Derek said...

Sounds like a case of the MOndays

Sylvana said...

They make for good distractions for the guys so that you can actually get things done, don't they?

Walking Wounded said...

Big stexy has a bit of a point here. however, I have endulged conversation on more than one occassion and found it quite pointless. For one, being a sweaty mess and half out of breath, doesn't make me the most articulate. Standing around mid-routine allowing myself to get cooled down is not the best either. Even allowing a buff chick to work in can be tedious because of the constant taking off and putting back on the weight.

I like exchanging a quick smile, wink or maybe "hey, what's up?" and then trying to run into them as they are entering the gym and chatterboxing. It works out well because you can then introduce perhaps grabbing a shake or eats after the gym.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

Oh AMG, it seems pretty clear from the comment shere that it's the sweaty ones the guys want to talk to...

I mean sensuously stretching is nice and all but it's not fit and sweating, is it? Come on.

So I sense there is a story here, what happened AMG?

*

LocuTus of Borg said...

That always appeared to me quite an oxymoron when people would talk about the gym being a big "pick-up" joint. Who would find it attractive and interesting to go around asking someone on a date as the sweat is dripping off their nose? Go Barbie >:P

jamwall said...

i think we're looking at the female equivalent to the guys who workout in Zubaz pants!

Miss_Vicki said...

there are some hot-ass guys at my gym, they can bother me all they want ;)

we have those girls at my gym too, but they actually do at least fake through a workout. why I'm noticing this, I haven't a clue.

hansen said...

wanna weed out the fake "worker outer's" from the real ones...i have found that if you just train for an iron man then no one wants to work out with you...any triathletes out there?

Roselly said...

Uhhh...not a triathelete here...but I walk 4 miles each morning. For fun! Leaves everyone who is a "fake" behind me ;-)

AMG...LOVE the blogs, keep it up! ;-)

Anonymous said...

It's all about the cute, not fake, girl who's clearly working out hard and doing her thing. When you make eye contact, you give her the head nod at most because you know better than to mess up her vibe. Those girls are the cutest.

By the way, the chicks with the fake tits at my gym are generally old, horrible and disgusting. So if I look at them, it's only in that disgusted way that you can't look away from a hideous deformity.

Pat

Neil said...

I don't know about you guys, but i always wear a three-piece suit Armani suit to the gym while I'm working out. The ladies love a well-dressed man.

Maki said...

We have guys that are more like that at my YMCA. They hang out talking around the bench (hogging it for those who actually want to use it, of course) and generally being lazy bastards. I can do my entire routine in the time it takes them to get around to finishing 2 sets. And I have a long-ass routine.

As far as checking out women at the gym who are actually working? Well, let's just say that if she's all sweaty and red-faced and she's still looking cute, it's s safe bet she's going to look great once she's cleaned up. Walking Wounded has the right approach, for sure.

Bridget Unnel said...

Yeah, gotta say that were are a few too many male preeners at the last gym I was at. It was all about the mirrors with them. "Hello, pretty bicep, you're looking extra big today."

Chris F. said...

But honestly, what if I don't want a plasticized, hyper-exaggerated female form with no personality unless intoxicated? Besides that, what if I don't have the money to pay for her next liposuction? Seriously, women who don't dress like Hollywood on a daily basis are much much better than women who do. They can just as (and in my opinion usually are more so) beautiful, but they spend less time in preparation, and more time experiencing life, the world and of course ME. Who wants a woman around who's actually never really there? Not me, for one.

Geez said...

God bless Workout Barbie and God bless the plethora of mirrors that let me observe her shallow personality from many, many angles.

Walking Wounded said...

Chris F. I feel for you, dude! I would not want to be stuck with a chick that looks great now but will ultimately fall apart later on in life without a surgeon's scalpel.

I too dig more the chick who looks hot in the gym truly sweating or when she's out and done up. I dated a barbie once for a month and finally could not take it anymore. I never knew what she was going to look like the morning after!

Peace.

mysterygirl! said...

I know that girl! She's usually going verrrrrry slowly on the elliptical machine so that she doesn't break a sweat. Or she does crunches or other "floor work."

I actually met a boyfriend at the gym once, but it was a "re-meet" of someone I had run into before, so I think that's different from a first meet. And I'm with the other commenters who say that if s/he looks good sweaty and red-faced, s/he'll look even better cleaned up! :)

Kate said...

my favorite are the women that are all dolled up on the treadmills walking 2.2 MPH- reading Glamour- just looking at all the guys, talking ont their cell phones. Course, they are also the women that walk around the locker room naked for hours.

nin said...

hmmmmmmmmm...exciting....

Rusty said...

I don't go to a gym. I work out in my basement. Then I go tho the goth club. See you there!

Jennifer said...

I've seen those Barbies at the gym (hate them too), but I see just as many if not more Ken Dolls. They're just harder to spot becuase they dont' wear makeup. And while I'm on that topic...why waer makeup to work out? I mean it's jsut gonna get sweated off if you actually do any working out. (No I'm nto talking abotu the "I came straight from work, so I have makeup still on" makeup. It's the "I got dolled up to look pretty at the gym" makeup.

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