I am posting this from bed, because I don't feel good. My stomach hurts. Which is a euphemism for "there is a strong possibility that semi-solid viscous fluids will soon be violently spewing from one end or the other, and I'm not sure which yet. So I would stay away from both."*
*See, I can't actually say that because I'm a lady, and ladies don't talk about bodily functions. So we use euphemisms instead.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Pepto-Bismol Tastes Awful
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29 comments:
I'm a guy, so I can talk openly about my bowels (even if it is your blog). I treated my body like a science experiment all weekend and paid the price on Sunday with numerous trips to the throne.
I finally broke down in the afternoon and took a shot of Pepto. Suprisingly, though, it didn't taste nearly as bad as I thought it did when I was a kid.
Ok AMG here is some science for you if the shit log is a floater that means you have alot of gas build up sinker means it's full of water or something. And for your reading pleasure http://www.heptune.com/poop.html
AMG:
Having been faced with some 'medical issues' that I won't bore you with, I can say that I would rather poop too much, than not enough. (in other words, I don't like to be filled with 'euphemisms').
Hope you feel better soon, both ends!
Thanks Derek for the scoop on poop!
In other words you have ass piss!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! well, feel better soon, if you gotta spew you gotta spew :)
hmmmm, i would happen across this when tucking into a late nite snack! that was good timing i must say!
Bowels can have a mind of their own at times!
Peace
Hope you feel better soon.
there are times when "ladylike" SUCKS and we need to show the world trash talk *S*...
Last time I had explosive decompression of the lower unit, it was due to eating some super hot wings. The hot sauce used was made by satan himself!
It was like passing fire. And water. At the same time.
Ug.
I like Pepto Besmol. I think it tastes amazing. Do you at least like the taste of Red Bull?
Blake
Arg. I just went through a few days of stomach malfunctions. Sucks. Feel better. (Wow, that was a bit commanding. I hope you feel better.)
I eat that candy that's the same color and hope it has a Placebo effect, sometimes it takes a couple bags.
Get well soon!
Peppermint tea does it for me. Hope you feel better. . .
my dear dear friend alex has no qualms about saying "doodie." it's always, "i have to make a doodie." and that's okay. though, i'm not sure how you talk about the runny stuff.
thanks for stopping by my blog. i see we have a few readers in common!
While you manage to score points with your female audience with your use of euphamisms, you have still managed to hold the interest of the male with the term, "violently spewing".
BRILLIANT!!
Oh the anticipation of which end it will come from...
Awwwwww!
Get well soon AMG.
E-well wishes being sent to you across the blog-o-sphere.
Feeling like it's going to come from both ends is yucky. And you never know which end you'd prefer.
Guess the gnomes have upped their game, their slipping poison in your dinner.
Damn you gnomes!!!
*
Feel better and forget the Pepto. What you need is to down a scotch, straight up. It'll burn out whatever germs ail ya..
Feel better, hon. And euphemisms are always good. Nice and crunchy. Much tastier than feminisms. They're usually hairy and soggy.
Any better today? And if you were a gambling girl you could have taken bets on which "end" would produce whatever it was that you euphemized about... cash in on your sickness...
Awww, bummer. Feel better soon!
hope you feel better.....try ginger ale or peppermint candy.....natural ingredients to soothe acidity......!
Pepto always makes me gag and want to throw up more than whatever it is making me drink the stuff in the first place.
I hope you feel better soon :)
Thanks for all the well wishes! I feel 100% better now. The pink stuff did the trick! :)
girgle girgle, brrp brrp, pffft
:)
Sorry, that is the best I could imitating the sound effects in text.
i was talking to my boss yesterday and i started to have the rumbly tummy so i knew i needed to get upstairs quick, but she wouldnt quit talking..i finally just said"i really have to go open my bar, im late" i ran upstairs to the bathroom, barely made it on when im pretty sure everything i ate all week started spewing from inside of me..(i love that i can talk about bodily functions here..using secret codewords)
oh, and pepto tablets are yuck. they make your toungue look like you have a pink yeast infection in your mouth.
LilRed, feel free to talk about whatever bodily functions you wish. This is an open forum where people can discuss their intestinal problems without fear of persecution.
AMG: Glad you're feeling better. I haven't had a decent 'dump' in about a year :-(
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