Tuesday, October 11, 2005

It Might Be Spam, But At Least It's Mail, Right?

I am not sure what's worse: not getting any mail, or only getting spam mail (we're talking of the snail variety here). At least with spam, someone is acknowledging your existence, even if it is only a giant computer somewhere in Detroit.

However, spam mail is still spam mail, and still annoying.

So what to do with it?

Some enterprising soul has discovered a way to not only make spam mail fun, but also get rid of some pesky trash along the way AND piss off the spammers to boot!

I'll give you a hint...the US Post Office says that you can use a postage-paid envelope to mail any legal object or package as long as it weighs no more than 72 pounds.

41 comments:

lefty_grrrl said...

Oh my lordy that is a brilliant idea. I may have to do this.

Would you like a big pile of cat fur, spammers?

Jennifer said...

What fun. I'll have to look into the laws for Canada. Cross your fingers that this will work here as well.

Grafs said...

That's freakin' classic. And here I was just going to settle with installing a chute from my mailbox to my trash can!

nic3oz said...

this is freakin hilarious....i must try this with all the crap i get from credit card companies telling me i'm pre-approved...bastards :)

Lizzie said...

No mail is definitely better than spam mail.

I'm going to try this!

Dirk the Feeble said...

This is wise advice, in fact my master plan all along has been to get myself down to 71 pounds and 15 ounces and then take a vacation somewhere on FoxMail Advertising's dollar.

exile said...

that is the best idea ever.

i so have to try it out.

Mel said...

HA HA HA HA...that is GREAT.

Walter said...

I mailed other advertisments in unsolicited postage paid envelopes, but I never knew til now they'll take a package as well. Oh, the things I can get rid of...,

larin von smartass said...

thats amazing! i wonder if it would work for credit card pre-approved applicaitons--i receive about 2-3 every day.

in regards to your question, spam is better b/c atleast paper is saved.

Justice said...

I've actually done that...mailed a bunch of junk back to those folks in the postage paid envelope. I figure it's only fair.

The Zombie Lama said...

That would be so cool... I wonder if it works...?

Queen of Ass said...

This just opens up SOOOO many possibilities for me!

Carrie said...

i find ignoring the mother fuckers is best.

The Other Half said...

ohhhh....i need to try this!!! i wonder what the worst thing they've gotten back was?!?!?

W.Churchill said...

I have a friend who likes to send small rocks back to credit card companies. I've started doing this about a month ago, makes me feel good inside.

TTiSoB said...

ah... we just send the package back to them

midwest_hick said...

lol....Excellent idea....This is one I'll have to keep in mind.

mrshife said...

That is how I got rid of the circus midget that was stalking me.

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Oh, this is just freaking classic. Garbage bags are getting more expensive these days. Fun stuff!

mistipurple said...

i wonder if anyone could come up with an equally devious payback for email or fax spammers.
ooooh that sounded so mean.. :p

Zepplinlady said...

Now that's what I'm talkin' about...great idea! Thanks.

Kay Ray said...

I am SOOO doing that!!!!!! BRILLIANT

Mike said...

Great concept! We hate Spammers! Great Blog!

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

I like to get back fax spammers by doing this:

Get 3 sheets of legal paper
Tape them end to end in to one long sheet
Make a repeating zigzag pattern all the way down it, or something like "Stop faxing me"
Then start it through the fax.
When the first part comes out, quickly tape it to the last part. It will make 1 continous loop that faxes them all night long...

P.S. Love the blog. I found you on Temperamental Blender.

The Brunette said...

I've actually mailed my snail mail spam back in the postage paid envelopes. I still get a ton though, so I'm thinking they don't really care. Makes me pretty damn happy to do it though ;-)

Paladin said...

AMG- I am really surprised at you- you did not check your facts. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Snopes.com already addressed this point (http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/telemarket.asp) and pointed out it does not work. (For one thing, ANY response counts as a 'hit' as far as they are concerned).

Another 'minor detail' is that the post Office does NOT have to forward or deliver 'nuisance mail'- like return postage on bricks or other junk. It gets tossed and just adds to teh operating overhead of the Post Office- at OUR expense.

Hate junk mail? Do the OPTOUT program. It really seems to work.

Chixulub said...

I've been doing that for almost 20 years, but I didn't know I could use stuff that didn't fit in the envelope. I limited myself to dead flies, condoms with a squirt of white lotion in them (to make them seem used), and so on.

My Mom did the brick thing, sent it postage-due to a college friend who blew my folks off when he was passing through town back in the early days of the ZIP code.

When I was in High School, we had an asshole band director who ordered extra fruit when we sold fresh produce for a winter fundraiser, then left it unsold in a stairwell to stink up that end of the school. Some of us sealed up a rotten box well enough we figured postal inspectors wouldn't snag it and sent it on the school's dime via parcel post to him at his new job.

I've also taken non-identifying pieces from one junk mailer and stuffed it in another's return envelope, always good for a grin.

Rat In A Cage said...

I have been doing that for a few years & I still laugh everytime I take all the junk from one spammer & mail it back to another. I just remove anything with my name. You raise a good point though. I could put all sorts of junk in those envelopes - a new thing to try - thanks! Saw you on Mel's comments.

jamwall said...

so that's how i can get rid of those old tires!!!!

The Seeker said...

I am sooo going on a spree with this one. Woo Hoo.

bigfootcookie said...

What a fab idea.

Revenge on junk mailers is always going to be sweet.

A friend I know always fills the forms in and posts them back. But he fills it in with page after page of religous babbling and "the end of the world is nigh" and "according to my prophecy" type of stuff. He swears it gets you removed from the mailing list quicker.

K2 said...

Dear dear... don't you know that's how you're supposed to spread Jack Chick's ministries?

rhein said...

oh me thinks i'll just take a bat to the BIG machine in detroit, y'know? kill the source:).

NWJR said...

That's freakin' brilliant. I am SO going to do that...

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Hey, that's a neat-o idea.

Little Miss said...

priceless.

truly. that's AWESOME.

; )

Big Ben said...

I usually send them back with some garbage in them, I no idea you could send something that large, so cool.

Lee Ann said...

You are right! Sometimes they are totally out of control. It seems to come and go. Sometimes I get a lot, then I will go for a while with none.

Paladin said...

1.) The Post Office WILL NOT deliver 'nuisance mail'- they know what the return postage notes are SUPPOSED to be attached to. All this idea does is to make more work for the post office- NOT the spammers.

2.) IF the nuisance package gets all the way back to the spammer, they now know that a.) the address was valid, and b.) you respond to junk mail. This will INCREASE your junk load.

3.) Removing your name and address from junk mail before returning it does not automatically mean they don't know who it is from- the pieces are covered with various codes (some of which are coded with invisible inks) that help them in exactly this situation.

Clint said...

that's freakin awesome...I gotta try it.

thanks.