Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I Know, the Third New Post in a Row. It's Like Christmas, Huh?

Today I was driving to work when I noticed that the cars in front of me were merging to the left because a bus had broken down in our lane. I put my blinker on and watched for my chance to move over, and when a space opened up, I started to change lanes. Until the car I was merging in front of sped up, honked at me, and flipped me off. Mind you, there was plenty of room when I started to change lanes, and I had my blinker on, and about eight cars in front of me had already merged over, and there was a giant bus in front of me blocking me from proceeding any further in my current lane. The fact that I was coming over was not a surprise. So this person was just being a complete douche. That is, in fact, the exact thought that came into my head as this mini roadway drama unfolded: "Jesus, what a douche!"

Which inevitably lead to my ponderance of the use of the word "douche" as an insult. How on earth does calling someone "a stream of water, often containing medicinal or cleansing agents, that is applied to a body part or cavity for hygienic or therapeutic purposes" insult them? But, hehehe, the fourth-graders giggle, girls put it in their....you know!!!! Yeah, so what? I still don't get it. Isn't it generally considered a privilege to be allowed in that area of a female's anatomy? And in other languages, it means "shower," which I doubt conveys the meaning that the user intended: "You are a huge concentrated flow of water that makes people cleaner!" You put suppositories up your ass - and "ass" is already a synonym for a jerk - so why not use that? "What an anal suppository!" I'm not against the use of the word "douche" as a derogatory, don't get me wrong. It's one of my favorites. I use it often. I just don't understand how it came about.

19 comments:

The Brunette said...

If I'm going to use douche, I normally say douche bag, which doesn't really make anymore sense, because now you're just the bag holding the medecine...not exactly an insult. I guess I'm going to have to come up with something new now ;-)

Karlos said...

Probably coined by the same person who coined "scumbag" (aka a condom).

I can't say that I've heard anyone use the word "douch" alone as an insult; just "douche bag" as the brunette alerady pointed out.

Here's an excerpt from a Willamette web site.

4. Douche-bag (1963). I wonder if you guessed that douche-bag was introduced earlier than "dirt-bag." Even the OED has something about douche-bag. The word douche, with this spelling, goes back to the 18th century, but "douche-bag" doesn't occur until the 20th and, at first, in a medical context. For example, in a gynecological handbook for nurses, from 1908, we have the advice to "hang the douche-bag eighteen inches above the level of the patient's hips." By 1967, according to the OED, the term came into its more prominent contemporary usage: "Douche bag, an unattractive co-ed. By extension, any individual whom the speaker desires to deprecate." By the time I made it to the university in 1970, the language of "douche bag" was in the air, but it was almost universally applied to males. Once again, the males take over what properly belongs to women. Isn't that the complaint of the feminists? Well, at least we humanists finally took over a scientific term and used it for our own noble purposes.

Cj

Justice said...

OK, that is way too deep for me to even contemplate. LOL

Casket Hugger said...

Carlos, you take all the fun out of calling someone a douche bag. I like to keep it on the white trash trailer park level. Its more fun that way. Stay happy. Call someone a douche bag daily!

DIAMONDKT said...

Wow Carlos, you did some research on the history and official meaning of the word "douche". Hmm and I thought sometimes I was bored. Just kidding - very informative. ;)

exile said...

Perhaps calling someone a douche isn't referring to them as the instrument, but rather as the filth that is cleansed from the cavity it's self.

But regardless of that, who still fucking does that? I mean, that is super unhealthy. It’s far better to just masturbate (masturbating performs a cleaning function far superior to that of douching.)

Kimmy said...

Same thing happened to me. However, in my case, the same driver was pulled over by a cop and getting a tickets about a mile down the road. SAT-IS-FAC-TION!

Chixulub said...

You can't count on cops. Be the aggressive victim. Take your lane, and if they hit you, sue them.

They won't really hit you, of course, they'll squeal their tires and curse, and that's the perfect time to find out how fast your car goes if idled in gear. 5mph, wave people from the lane you left to get in front of you. The person behind you, the asshead (or douche bag if you prefer), will get so angry, they'll try to pass you, which is when you accelerate. You can trap them until they want to pass on the left, which is when you straddle the shoulder.

There is a small chance they're actually freeway snipers, but mainly what you're going to do is ruin the day for someone who has decided they are more important than anyone else on the road.

People like you're describing, I wish my car ejected spike strips like the cops use on fugitive cars to flatten all four of their tires at once. I don't care if they get prosecuted: if they have to buy new tires every time they drive like a c-word, then the tire store makes money and they pay a defacto fine for being immature jerks.

Bob said...

I've always thought that cars should be equipped with LED message signs on the front and back so you could communicate to other drivers. In your case, that jerk didn't hear you but with a LED message sign you could have posted, "Nice driving, douche bag!" on the front display and "Thank you for letting me in!" on the back display.

Sangroncito said...

Your post reminds me why i hate to drive. As for douche bags, is that what they used when I got an enema in the hospital when I was 13 and had my appendix (spelling?) taken out? Nasty experience.......

Dirk the Feeble said...

I can't answer your douche question but I am definitely using "anal suppository" now.

Jennifer said...

That reminds me of driving in Houston. No on uses turn signals for that exact reason - it warns peopel what you're going to do so they can cut you off....why give them warning? I hate Houston drivers.

Captain Bee said...

Well, I'd rather call someone a 'douche' instead of a 'tampon'.

"You dumb tampon...why don't you go...pull your string or something"

Alshrim said...

What really gets guys like that - is when they flip you off - you start laughing yer ass off!! and then POINT.. ya.. they love that..

Douche: An interesting observation AMG .. i prefer calling people "Anal Chinook" - usually answered by ..

"A what?"

mrshife said...

Actually, the term is derived from my great, great, great Uncle Douchey Doucheman. He was a real meanie and his nickname, Douche Bag, became synonmous with being less than favorable.

Gadfly said...

I dunno.
douche is kind of singular and strong. Even though it doesn't really make a lot of sense upon close inspection -- there is a certain satisfaction in calling somebody a twat wash.

Walking Wounded said...

Now that I have arrived in Lincoln I am starting to see much of the typical Midwest-type behaviors they talk about. For instance, everyone here drives insanely slow even during "rush hour." My gawd, it is starting to drive me nuts.

Peace

Marie Nadine said...

I've always felt that 'cocksucker' was a fabulous insult to throw out to ridiculous drivers. But douche is such a fabulous insult cause i tend to think some people actually don't know what it means..or maybe they do and are just so perplexed by it they can feel no other emotion than insult? pfft, stupid douches.

Kels said...

I wonder the same thing.. and then when they say 'Used douche bag'. So now youre an empty, plastic baggy with a nozzle attached. Wow.