Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I Ran Out of Candy and Gave Away Snack-Sized Bags of Goldfish, and When I Ran Out of Those I Considered Giving Out Pennies, But Decided That Was Lame.

So, as you may know, Monday was Halloween. And it's now Wednesday, 48 hours later. And I think it's about time for a recap, eh? It's almost timely.

At work, my department decided on a Twilight-Zone Delivery Room theme with a little gender-bending, meaning that it was the men who were pregnant and giving birth. Here's me as a nurse with one of the "patients," who decided to go as a redneck, because of course it would be the redneck dudes who up and get themselves knocked up.



I didn't dress up on my own this year, as my spirit was a bit deflated after my costume idea last year was widely vetoed as too offensive: Laci Peterson. A dead pregnant lady. But I did buy a feather-trimmed witch's hat to wear while handing out candy. And I did decorate the front porch with spiderwebs (I do not remember those things being so hard to work with when I was a kid!), ghost lights, and a light-up Frankenstein head. So while I didn't technically dress up, I was all about the Halloween decor.

I gave away loads candy to loads of completely adorable kids in completely adorable costumes, and reluctantly gave it away to teenagers carrying pillowcases who were dressed as...teenagers. Although please note that I was careful not to appear reluctant since I didn't want to experience any tricks* by disgruntled 16-year-olds. And let me tell you, there must be an illness of epidemic proportions affecting the youngsters in this town based on the number of kids who came up to me with two or even three bags asking for extra candy for their little brother or sister who was "at home sick" or "waiting in the car because he didn't feel good" or "completely fictional." I didn't cave, though, so there are dozens of small, sick children who went without candy this Halloween because I am a cruel, evil person.


*Which sounds vaguely dirty and prostitution-related, but by which I just meant eggings and pumpkin-smashing and the like.

22 comments:

Ayatollah Mugsy said...

Sounds like a good Halloween. I donned my Batpug costume to scare the neighborhood children.

Shmorg said...

Only had two kids stop by my house. I guess the rain ruined all the fun.
So I treated myself to the left over candy. It was like going trick-or-treating without the exercise.

K2 said...

*sigh*

I didn't give out any candy this year... but then again, living in an apartment building with a bunch of African students and the like doesn't lend to much Halloween festivities... So I settled for my weekend parties, beer, and am upset that SPACE GHOST DID NOT WIN THE COSTUME CONTEST AT WORK!!!

Thomas, the Retarded Monkey said...

Kids suck ass. Especially when they beg for stuff, and they're all please can I have some candy, please can I have my clothes back, please could you stop choking me. Nag nag nag.

exile said...

i got in trouble for passing out candy. they were all "you have to wear clothes, you have to wear clothes..." hasn't anyone ever heard of a costume?


personally it pisses me off to no end when people don't wear a costume (like those teens). i mean, if you just throw on a hat, or some horns that's fine, but nothing? that's just lame.

kate said...

I think you're about the only person I know who had a lot of trick-or-treaters. I had a total of three. LOL.

LoriLoo310 said...

Yeah, I had my experience with the teens and their "teenage costumes." Wanna know what's worse? When a grown man shows up on your doorstep with a Wal-Mart sack ... alone, no kids with him, nothing. Weird and weirder.

Casket Hugger said...

Next time you run out of candy do what I did. Make nice little baggies of cat kibbles.

MzAriez said...

One year after running out of candy, I gave away all the little gadgets I get at conferences. I didn't realize I had so many stress-relieving balls.

Chixulub said...

I'm jealous. Where I live, people are convinced that taking their kids trick or treating will land their kid immediatley ona milk carton. They go to the mall, or the tax-subsidized 'Boo-Bash.' It sucks, the only people doing the old-style Halloween thing were retirees.

Last place I lived, though, we had not only teens, but some who were still wearing the outfits they wore trying to pick up johns. And some would try to grab the bowl and make a run for it.

Me said...

That's hilarious! I'm so gullible that I give it to the "sick" siblings.

Ugh. What was I thinking?!

Anonymous said...

My brother-in-law maintains that he gives those teenagers razors and tampons. Never seen him do it, though.

sue said...

We live in the country. No trick or treaters. More candy for ME! ;)

I think there needs to be a cut-off age... you know, like 25?

Justice said...

The kids that are too old to be trick or treating worry me. If you give them candy, you run out for the little ones. If you don't give them candy, they might trash your house. It's a no-win situation.

The G-man said...

Holy crap! The same teenagers that hit your house showed up at the house I was at Halloween night in Portland, Ore. The little suckers sure get around.

Bridget Unnel said...

I had stockpiled three bags of "fun-size M&Ms. One lousy trick-or-treater came to the door. Everyone in my office now weighs five more pounds than they did on Monday!

Mon said...

Halloweener sure isn't what it use-ta be! Trick or treating in daylight? not dressing up? parents driving their kids??? I feel bad for kids these days, their so sheltered.

kristin said...

I hate those damn teenagers, but I'm always afraid they'll toilet paper my house. Did you ever see that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode?

Anonymous said...

Personally things are so bad at my aprtment I didn't get A SINGLE ONE.
Sigh.

The worst kids are the ones who stay by the end of the drive and send in their little-r friends / siblings and then wait and see if it's worth going up themselves.

Hello? Spirit of th occassion?

Sigh.

*

Spirit of Albion said...

You said it, Mon! My girlfriend is a teacher and I've heard all about how sheltered kids have become. I think it's the 24/7 "bad" news channels. Parents are afraid to let their kids out of their sight for 5 minutes.

Michael Manning said...

People in my neighborhood sat on lawn chairs and burned scented logs in a grille? I never got that. One couple dressed as Morticia and Hermann Munster and played scary sound effects from a DVD player. I hope I move away soon!!!

The Brunette said...

Wow, my comment is about as timely as your post ;-)

I was a grinch, and didn't hand out candy at all, as I really did have a sick kid. We went around the block, and that was all, then I put a sign on our door that we were out of candy :-) Grinch!!

Cute costumes at work!