Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I'll Tell You What I Need, What I Really, Really Need

Because Blogger has been sucking sweaty goat balls lately, you don't get the awesome, rockin' post that I spent hours composing. Instead you get this.

I stole this from someone. I don't know who. It's old. But I was bored today, obviously not while at work though, because that would be wrong. It would be wrong, wrong, wrong to be doing this at work. So I'm not. (Ahem.)

The idea is - and again, this is old, but maybe someone out there hasn't seen it yet - the idea is to put your name and "needs" into Google and see what it is you need. Usually you find out you need things that you didn't even know existed, let along needed. But really, who knows you better than Google? No one, that's right.

So, what do I need?

AMG* needs...bodyguards.
Not the news AMG needs to hear right now
AMG needs...to make an effort to bring up attendance at general meetings.
AMG needs...a 5.4L V8 to produce 360 hp.
AMG needs...to drop this attitude.
Whatever AMG needs, AMG gets.
AMG needs...you.
AMG needs...her Goldeneye. [No, I swear that came up!]
AMG needs...to speak up.
AMG needs...a guide to find Chen Lo in China.
AMG needs...no complicated configuration at the server side.
AMG needs...to use stealth just as much as combat maneuvers.
AMG needs...a cheeky smile.
AMG needs...to retire gracefully with a mug of cocoa & a tartan rug, sit in front of the fire dribbling wee into her fur-lined slippers.
AMG needs...to drop Rex's stepdad at the airport.
AMG needs...at least 50% of health to make it (even if you are poisoned by the lizards, you can still make it!).
AMG needs...to go.


* This is a mix of results using both my real name and AMG. So some of you clever readers out there might be able to easily figure out my real non-anonymous name. But be kind and don't help those pervert stalkers out there find me by saying it. Please?

12 comments:

Ebal said...

Amen and Shalom.. Ha thats pretty good...

minijonb said...

minijonb needs to post some photos

"The real me" needs a kidney transplant

"my other blogger identity" needs shareholder approval

thanks. that was random.

Anonymous said...

I found out that AMG needs "The Santa Book"!!!

*

Chixulub said...

Pervert stalkers are people too, you know.

Anonymous said...

You have a very pretty name... almost as cute as the dipples!

I apparently need content, a spotlight, and surgery! (blegh)

Anonymous said...

WTF? You just told us your name was Grace Kelly. (and you thought perverts just looked at pictures...)

Gadfly said...

That is a pretty name. That's the name of the first girl I ever had a crush on at age 8.

I am SO going to stalk you now.

I just need a last name ...

And maybe a city to start in ...

And some time off from work ...

And some gas money

Julie_Gong said...

Why do you need a lot funnier things than I need...

-California's Coalition for Adequate School Housing

and a

-Progressive International Whistling Micro Kettle

Both of those deserve a punch in the face.

Chris said...

Add my voice to the "pretty name" chorus. I think it suits you too. A lot of people don't look like their names (if that makes any sense), but you do.

So, I just did it and apparently I need your sex talk.

Lynda said...

I figured out your name. Can I still stalk your blog.

Oh, if I am right, it is one of my favorite names.

DIAMONDKT said...

I already know your name. It's Grace Kelly.

BP said...

This response is a bit late but...

You don't need a V8 for 360HP. Your 1.8T is a kickass little engine. With a turbo upgrade, you can easily get to 340HP. A high flow exhaust will get you over that.

I don't know how mechanically inclined that you are, but you may want to check this link out...

http://www.goapr.com/VW/products/stage3plus_trans.html

Oh yeah, and you need $5k for the upgrade. ;) Or $3k for a measly 250HP...

http://www.goapr.com/VW/products/tvk04.html

Later,
Ben