Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Cake or Death?

If you saw that headline and cracked up, read no further. You already know all I am about to say. That's right...it's an Eddie Izzard post. He is one of the best undisovered English transvestite comics out there. Screw it, I'll say it: THE BEST undiscovered English transvestite comic. If you have not seen him before, start with "Dressed to Kill." It's brilliant humor, much of it dealing with politics and world history, which is just a little too smart for us Americans. And his fantastic accent makes it even better. Everything sounds more intelligent with a British accent. (He's also a very good actor - played the bad guy in Avengers and apparently is in Ocean's Twelve, though I haven't see that yet. And to go back to my earlier "undiscovered" reference...I suppose, since he's enormously sucessful, he's not technically "undiscovered," but I don't think enough people know about him.)

Stop what you are doing right now and go find an Eddie Izzard DVD (or tape, for you technophobes out there). You won't regret it. And if you do, and you feel that the hour you just spent watching the tape was wasted...well, I don't care. You've probably done worse things.

P.S. I was going to include my favorite lines from "Dressed to Kill," but the list just kept on growing and growing. You can check some out here.

Okay, actually, I have to include just one:

"The National Rifle Association says that, 'Guns don't kill people, uh, people do.' But I think, I think the gun helps. You know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, 'Bang!' That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that. "

Fine, one more, and that's it, I promise:

"We stole countries! That's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags! Just sail halfway around the world, stick a flag in. 'I claim India for Britain.' And they're going, 'You can't claim us. We live here! There's five hundred million of us.' 'Do you have a flag?' 'We don't need a bloody flag, this is our country, you bastard!' 'No flag, no country! You can't have one. That's the rules... that... I've just made up! And I'm backing it up with this gun... that was lent from the National Rifle Association.' "

6 comments:

the Glory Girl said...

My junior year in college, my friends and I, the ever-mature college students we were, started this game we called "Annexation," which you could only play it during meals. I gave everyone a country, based on personality and physical traits. I was Ireland because I'm a stereotypical Irish girl, one guy was Japan because he's kinda short, another guy was Germany because he tried to take over everyone for no apparent reason, etc. Basically, all we did was throw balled-up napkins at each other. Classy. But at least once a meal, someone would squeal, "No flag, no country!"

Henry said...

that last one was excellent.

Nice site.

mine:
http://honzo.brendoman.com

Al said...

Eddie Izzard is a big comedy genius over here. I say this 'cos you refer to him as "undiscovered" and you shouldn't fret that he has gone unnoticed! I guess you mean he hasn't crossed the pond? Anyway, yeah, you have caught onto a guy with a big following.

Laterss

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

I know he's huge in the U.K., but not so much over here. One of those underground, cult favorites. Not too many people know about him, which is too bad. Maybe if I convert enough people to fans I can get a commission or something...hmmm.

phoenix said...

"Running, jumping, climbing trees... putting on makeup while you're up there."

"They'd have FANTASTIC make up, and a FANTASTIC GUN!"

"Cake or death? Can I have the vegetarian platter? Oh, okay Mr. Hitler."

Those are my favorites.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

If you like Eddie Izzard you'll certainly enjoy Bill Hicks. I promise I'm not wasting your time.