Friday, January 28, 2005

I Have a Date! With a Girl!?

Why is it so hard for two women to become friends after a certain age? When you were in high school, friends fell in your lap (there's a visual for all the guys out there) and you even rotated them on a regular basis, just like the tires on your car, but once you're out in the world on your own, it's this intricate, awkward social dance. It's very similar to trying to date a girl (I would assume, having never actually tried to do so. Except for that one wonderful semester in college...sigh....I will never forget that night, Sasha!)

Case in Point: There's a chick in my Spanish class (yes, I'm one of those night class people who take a class a semester until they die, at which point they are still 20 credits from graduating) who is very cool. This is the second class we have taken together, and we sit next to each other and chat the whole time. Which may explain why I do not understand reflexive verbs, or, more importantly, Spanish. I would like to hang out with her outside of school. I would like to become friends with her. Not hard, right? Ha ha! But it is! This is a subject that must be tip-toed around for fear of being thought of as gay ("Um, did she just hit on me?") or desparate ( "Wow, that girl must be extrememly lacking in the female companionship area.") or both ("Wow, I think that desperate gay girl just hit on me!")

A while ago, she was going to be gone for a class and we exchanged phone numbers, which is pretty much the equivalent of first base if I was trying to date her. Then I missed a class, and when she called to see if I wanted her to bring me the worksheet, I said yes and suggested we meet for lunch. Which we did. (We're now rounding second base heading to third, for all you keeping track out there.) And we have an open date to get together next weekend and watch a movie. So that seems to be going pretty well. However, it took almost a full year for this to occur. I know people that have dated, gotten married, and gotten a divorce in half the time (i.e. Britney Spears). You think it would have been as easy as, after the first class, saying "Hey, you seem like a cool chick. Let's hang out in a non-scholastic atmosphere, perhaps with a few alcoholic beverages." Guys do it all the time: "Yo, dude, let's grab a beer before we split." But for some reason it's just not that easy for a chick to do it.

Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I really am just that socially awkward.


Xerwer said...

You are not that strange. I am a guy an I find it pretty hard to date someone. But often, taking our time is far better than getting dated, married and divorced within half a year...
Good luck for you :)


echrai said...

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!!

I went through college with a circle of female friends who amicably split (read as: one roommate went psycho and we all got convenient amnesia and agreed never to speak of those years again or remember we knew each other), got married to a jerk with no friends, then moved out on my own. Suddenly, I'm out in the wide open world and I have NO FEMALE FRIENDS. It's easy to make guy friends. You say, "dude, did you see that game?" or "hey man, wanna go out for drinks. Not a date, you numbskull." Women... it's just different. What's acceptable? Drinks? Coffee? What if you run out of things to talk about? What if you annoy her by talking too much about your boyfriend or family or petty little problems in your day to day life?

Thank god my boyfriend came prepackaged with Friends-for-me (tm) so I can go out with his female friends and gossip (even about him) while he hangs out with their husbands. Or we all go out in a big group. If it weren't for them.... I think the only friends I'd have would be long distance through things like these blogs!

Robert said...

Too funny! It's good to know social awkwardness isn't limited to me. How long before you cop a feel?

Marilyndrew said...

picking up girl friends is rough. but from what i've heard it's like that for all females