Thursday, January 27, 2005

I'll Take a Caffeine IV, Please.

I am so tired today...I went to get a pop from the vending machine, and actually sat in the chair next to it while I waited the .0246 seconds for it to fall. I got a Diet Mountain Dew, and considered shotgunning it to allow all of the caffeine to hit my system at once and shock me into awake-ness, but I think the potential brain freeze outweighs that benefit. Brain freeze is only worth it for one thing, and that's a TCBY Shiver with white chocolate mousse and chocolate chip cookie dough bits. I could go the rest of my life without sex as long as I had one of those in my hands.

While writing this, I also realized that I don't know how to spell "caffeine." I had to look it up. That's pretty sad, considering I won the schoolwide spelling bee in third grade. I'm sure I knew how to spell it then, along with "definitely," another word I now have trouble with. I have noticed that the longer I spend on a computer, the more my spelling skills decrease. I'm sure that has something to do with my inherent laziness. If spell check will catch it, why should I?

Speaking of spelling, has anyone else noticed that the word "queue" is quite pretentious? Three of the five letters are silent. It's kind of like naming your child "Meaghan" instead of "Megan." Or "Cyndie" instead of "Cindy." Or "Jouienxyiesdfgse" instead of "Joe."

Speaking of names, there is someone I work with whose name is "Tuesday Morning." I kid you not. Her brother, "Friday Night," is a lot more fun to hang out with, though. Okay, that was a lame joke.

Speaking of speaking...actually, I have nothing to say about speaking. I just wanted to complete the "speaking of" trifecta. Things always are funnier in triplicate.

8 comments:

Ryan said...

To be fair, "queue" is a french word, but then again half the letters in french are quite ubiquitous.

I hate it when parents add letters or change letters just to make it seem like they're giving their kid a unique name. But now I have to name a child or hampster "Jouienxyiesdfgse" and say the middle 12 letters are silent.

phoenix said...

I've always wanted to have four dogs named Frito, Dorito, Cheeto, and Lettuce. Or a kid named Joe, but spell it H-a-r-r-y. Then correct the teachers on the first day of kindergarten. "No, it's pronounced JOE" saying it very slow, pretending they are the moron.

Wardo said...

Hey, AMG:

You're the first total stranger to see my blog, I think - you left a message there regarding a story I wrote. How on earth did you find it? Just curious.

-A

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

LOL Phoenix, I can see it now. "No, I'm sorry, Ms. Smith, it's actually JOE." "Oh, did the school write the wrong name down? It says Harry here." "No, that's right, but the name is Joe." "Oh, okay, let me just correct it...J-O-E." "No, no, the spelling is fine. It's spelled H-A-R-R-Y, but pronounce JOE." {Blank stare from teacher} "His name is Harry?"

Firehand said...

That must be some damn fine ice cream!

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Oh...it's good. It's real good.

Kimberly said...

Hello "anonymous" Geez Jill...won't you even say your name on the internet? Everyone know your name is Jill Llij. No need to be secretive about it.

By the way...you are utterly hilarous. I don't know how I never noticed before.

Robert said...

The only way I can remember definitely is to think of it as de-finite. I know how to spell finite.