Friday, February 18, 2005

Victoria's Dirty Little Secret

Let me preface this post by saying I am not a rabid environmentalist. I believe in the environment, hell, I even think it's probably important to take care of it every once in a while. But I don't use paper bags at the grocery store, and I will not be using cloth diapers when I have children (if I have children. Which is unlikely seeing as my current boyfriend is anti-kids, though this is sad because then I would certainly have something interesting to post every day: 'Today, Johnny pooped his diaper! It was greenish with yellow specks. I think it was corn!'). I will certainly never use Luna Pads, which are "washable cloth menstrual pads " that I saw an advertisement for today, and the thought of which made me throw up a little in my mouth. Really, I don't even recycle.

However, that being said, I do think that Victoria's Secret is going straight to hell when lingerie-judgment day comes. Not because they charge $198 for a "lace and mesh merrywidow" that barely contains enough fabric to cover a chihuahua, but because yesterday I think I officially received my one-millionth magazine from them.

Now, I love Victoria's Secret. I love their bras, their panties, their little strappy chemises (of which I probably own twenty), their clothes. My boyfriend loves them also. Everyone loves them! Except my mom, who would be mortified should she happen to stumble into their store on her way to Penny's.

However, I get two or three magazines a week from them. More when they are having their monthly "semi-annual" sale (which, technically speaking, is true - monthly is semi-annually - but still gets me every time - 'Wow! I'd better buy this now! This won't happen again for another decade!'). Full color, glossy magazines with lots of pages. From what I found from reputable sources (i.e. The Internet), They send out over a million magazines a day - 395 million a year.

Now, I might be wrong here, but don't magazines use paper? And doesn't paper generally come from trees? That can't be a good thing, can it? This was a thought that crossed my mind as I pulled the magazine from my mailbox, after which I dismissed it and went online to order several overpriced thongs.

When I was looking this up online, I found this site that has some really funny pictures of models wearing Victoria's Secret lingerie toting chain saws. And really, they aren't so much models as "average-looking people that are actually staffers for the website and include a couple men in bras." So be sure to check it out if a) you care about the "environment" or b) your secret fetish is women (and men! I won't judge!) in heels, satin, wings, and logging equipment. And I also stole the name of the post from them. Ripped it right off.

Victoria's Dirty Little Secret


exile said...

this of it like this, what else would they recycle? i mean, you nearly puked at the idea of the reusable vagina sponges (the luna pads- get intouch with your inner goddess.) they're not going to recycle the panties and teh ammount of guys who wack off to the magazine... you get the idea

comparitively more pople care abotu looking sexy then the enviroment. besides, what has the enviroment done for us lately?

The Author said...

I'm sorry what were you talking about again? I'm still thinking of you in those overpriced thongs....


saby said...

Pssssttttt!..... wanna see some dirty pics ?

twitterpated said...

I checked out the Luna site. Sea sponge tampons. Ummm... no thanks.

Once something goes on sale at Victoria's Secret -- it will be on sale for like the next 2 years.

I have a credit card with them and I have yet to recieve a catalog after 2 years. Which is probably a good thing, but still...