Thursday, July 14, 2005

I Hope He Has Very Supportive Underwear. (Now With Picture Goodness!)

My friend Lobo (formerly "Joe-Without-a-Nickname") has balls of steel. Steel, I tell you! Maybe even titanium. Definitely something stronger than just skin and sperm.



He put in his two weeks' notice at the restaurant where he works (obviously; would he put it in at a restaurant where he didn't work?) two weeks ago. This is the same restaurant that my group of friends goes to every Tuesday for 35 cent wings, and we always sit in his section.

Last Saturday, he no-called/no-showed in favor of doing the Hour of Power with us, a completely understandable, logical decision, if I do say so myself. Which, by saying it, I just did. And I just blew my mind a little.

So this last Tuesday rolls around. Knowing that this was supposed to be Lobo's last day, we all gather in the restaurant's outside seating area (the location comes into play later) to celebrate. However, he's not there. We ask the waitress, and she (rather testily) replies: "He's not here." Us: "Oh, he called in?" Her: "He didn't call." We all laugh heartily at this, even as the waitress silently cursed him for not showing up and doubling her workload. In retrospect, we should have waited until after we ordered our food to do that, since our reaction most likely increased our spit-in-food chances.

After she left, we call Lobo to give him shit about not showing up on his last day. Fifteen minutes later, a motorcycle screams through the parking lot. It's him. He jumps the fence to the outside seating area and pulls up a chair.

So that's balls enough, right? To no call/no show at your job, then show up and hang out?

This is where the titanium part comes in. He pulls out his cell phone and proceeds to call into work from our table. Which is at his work. Where he was supposed to be several hours ago.

And even better, he orders food and beer from the waitress when she comes out the next time. I'm pretty positive that spit was the least of his bodily-fluid-in-food-worries at that point.

This does all have a downside, though, as entertaining as it was. Because now all of the waitstaff at the restaurant know that we are friends with Lobo, and I suspect that should we continue to go there on Tuesdays, our service will be less than spectacular. Especially since, through the course of the night, we broke three glasses. And only one of them was on accident.

26 comments:

NYPinTA said...

Wow! That is ballsy! (I just really wanted to use that word.)
Yeah, I would say you all should find a new Tuesday hang out.

kate said...

Damn. I'd hate to have him as an employee. LOL.

boabhan sith said...

Hey thanks for stopping by my blog.

Yeah, I like the 6 idea, LOL.

Me said...

That's great. I wish I could've pulled something like that when I've quit jobs. Instead, I always do the "I really liked working here but I've got another offer . . . " All lies. If I liked it so much, I wouldn't be QUITTING!

Derek said...

Thats just too fucking funny Ball of titanium

scott c said...

I would like to add...

three glasses broken, only one on accident.

AND 1 formerly-glass-now-shards stomped down into tinier shards.

Yeah. Probably never go there again.
sc.

Charlie Mc said...

I'd stay FAR away from there...find a place with 10 cent wings!!

Blog ho said...

i used to have balls like that.

Brillig said...

Wow, I don't know what to think of that. On the one hand it was a pretty cool stunt, on the other haven't we all worked jobs where someone has walked out and killed us in workload for it.
And thanks for hitting my blog and my wife's. She was very happy, (she doesn't get a lot of readers)

Lord Chimmy said...

We salute you Mr. Lobo...A true American hero.

Does he wear a cape?

TrueJerseyGirl said...

That guy knows how to quit a job. My hero.

TrueJerseyGirl said...

And I am SO doing that hour of power thing this weekend. I consider it a personal challenge to myself to get the job done. Without yacking.

freakyvirgin said...

that's fuckin awesome!!!

The Lazy Iguana said...

I am impressed! With every job I walked out of, I made shure to burn the bridge behind me.

Your friend did even better. He nuked the bridge.

By the way, I still have a set of 8 "true pint" glasses from Bennigans. Most of my alcohol glassware was stolen from bars.

I did tip well, so nobody cared. Except for the manager. But he is a clown anyway.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Mark, I felt kind of bad for the waitress, too - I've been in her shoes before. But since I wasn't directly involved or affected, it was pretty funny.

nin said...

lobo is great ...indeed...

Anonymous said...

that is the funniest story.....way to go! i should have done that in a few jobs too!

Veeba said...

That is hilarious. This guy's got some balls. Way to go!

Anonymous said...

OMG.
That is pretty crazy.
However much he hated the job though, did he realy not like his co-workers that much?

I have to respect the titanium balls of it though; legendary.

Why "the Wolf"? Is it a balls thing?

Oh and finally, YAY for the new pic! I am impressed with the generous way you share screen space with someone so obviously cuter than you.

I think his cuteness somewhat spills over and makes you a little cute too.
No. Really.

*

dub said...

good god. what were we thinking with breaking all the glasses? i almost forgot about that! let's just stay home on tuesdays and watch reno 911 & stella. we can make lobo come to our house and wait on us there. heck, we could even still tip him. he'd like that.

Rachel said...

that's badass! i love it! pure fucking comedy.

drobby said...

Awesome.

Alexis said...

Dude you and El Lobo RAWK!!! Sweet!! If you come back to Europe you are SO meeting up with me! x

Manjusha said...

El Lobo rocks!

Balls of Titanium: 101 by El Lobo to hit book stores soon!

Andy said...

I just stumbled upon this while meandering about and this is truly one for the ages.

Jilly said...

This guy is my hero.