Friday, September 16, 2005

When a Man and a Woman Love Each Other Very Much...

Obviously, anyone can get (or get someone) pregnant.* Look at Kevin Federline and Britney Spears, who managed to get knocked up with a combined IQ of 92. And perhaps I did spell both of their names wrong there, but I don't care. But the sad truth is, not everyone knows exactly HOW pregnancy happens. Or, for the sake of this post, assume that not everyone knows. Because if you assume that, then you will click on the following link and learn the intricacies of fertilization from a penis-head and a vagina-coat. Educational? Perhaps. Funny as hell? Dear God, yes.


*Clearly, this is assuming they have all the right parts and all said parts are functional. For instance, Chyna/Joanie Laurer most likely does not have a uterus since she is a man, thus it would be difficult for her to become pregnant.

26 comments:

Spexial said...

Guess who's back, new, improved and better than ever!...check it out...

Rob Lowe said...

Fuck, sex ed has changed a bit from the afterschool special days. This was great. Now I know all about it.

Miladysa said...

Wow! That's how I got my four children?!

kate said...

You're too funny AMG. And that's awful about Chyna. LOL. Shame on you. ;)

JordanBaker said...

I'm so horrified. Watching that penis man cum out of his head . . .and not once, mind you, but TWICE. . .I need a shower.

exile said...

twice... ah, memories...

AlRo said...

now that's some funny shit right there !!!

mysterygirl! said...

That was awesome.

sabatkes said...

oh wow. too funny. this was just too weird!
nice site by the way

trish said...

tht fur on the coat has got me gagging!

Weary Hag said...

Christ. I feel like I just had "the TALK" again after 40 years. I enjoyed this more though, at least there was some humor and fun music to go along with it.

This is precious! (in a knee-slappin way)

QueSaraSara said...

Ha! That was awesome...and a not-so-subtle jab at those who oppose the morning-after pill?

Momentary Academic said...

Well, you learn something new every day...

I just wish that they could have been a bit more subtle with their hosts. But what do I know?

The Wedding Party said...

that was certainly bizarre.

Clint said...

That's hilarious...all we got for sex-ed was a slide show of severely diseased genitals...think they just wanted to scare the shit out of us to keep us away from sex...nice try.

Nice site by the way.

ERL said...

FYI - My "break" lasted approx. 29 hrs. I'm back

Chixulub said...

Hmmm. Yes, it's funny and smart, but it reminds me of my own trek as a teen with a girlfriend through the rows of protestors to get cheap pills and free rubbers. I realize I risk alienating the AMG and getting this comment deleted by the Anonymous Midwest Administrator...

Planned Parenthood stressing contraception basics strikes me as similar to cigarette companies offering tips on how to quit, publicizing the health impact of tobacco, etc. Or liquor companies that pretend they'd sell one less round if it kept a sober driver available.

The video is new but the message is the same as it was 20 years ago:
Of course you're going to fuck.
Of course you don't want a baby.
Here's how to 'protect' yourself.
Oh, by the way, if you get pregnant, we can get rid of that pesky baby (oh, did I say baby, I mean unwanted tissue) and your folks don't have to know you were ever here.
Wink-wink, welcome to the grown up world.

If presented with such things as genital warts and herpes, they'll just say, in effect 'everything has its risks, and you have to decide for yourself.'

This is advice targeted to kids too young to get their ears pierced, eveng et an aspirin from the school nurse without parental consent.

I've looked at this particular cloud from both sides, and I hope AMG is still a friend to Lobsters, but I held my tongue for almost 24 hours, which is practically impossible for me.

Johnny Menace said...

combined IQ of 92? so they are both legal retarded... or one is extremely retarded and the other can pass 8th reading..

trish said...

Ive decided tht i will never have kids. ever! just bunnies...you dont have to explain things like this to bunnies. they are pre-programmed with the knowledge

mysterygirl! said...

Chixulub, I'm not trying to start a fight, but I don't see how your analogy works. It's not like Planned Parenthood makes huge profits off of (as you say yourself) "cheap pills and free rubbers," or that they can try to get you addicted to sex so that you keep purchasing pricey abortions or something.

Planned Parenthood's mission is basically to give people of all income levels agency over their reproductive health. They want accurate information to be spread (about STD- and pregnancy prevention) and safer-sex technology (condoms, etc) to be accessible.

If you are against abortion or young people having sex, that's fine and is your prerogative. But I don't think you can hold Planned Parenthood responsible for the decisions people make-- they aren't the ones making pre-marital sex appealing to people, or deciding for them how soon to have sex, whether to use contraception, or what to do about a pregnancy. All they can do is educate people on all their options and offer them the resources to do whatever they've decided to do.

Anyway, I hope this didn't come off as an attack. Just another opinion.

LoreliaGilmore said...

dude who knew i have had 3 kids and i just figured that you git drunk then got pregnant like a month later because you are throwing up in the bathroom. who knew.

Ruben said...

Damn it!!!!!!!! I told my ex wife that if I stuck the hard thing into the soft warm thing that babies would produce. She never listened! I knew that something that felt so good would have consequences!

LocuTus of Borg said...

Isn't that the truth ... after all of my cousins and their kids and the kids of their kids ... you would think that they would figure out how and where babies come from. When one of them gets pregnant it is always a surprise like, "Wow how did that happen?" Geez!!

BetelGeuse said...

Funny Stuff! Thanks for sharing.

I got a headache... hehe

Lulu said...

I feel smarter now!

The G-man said...

OK, just who would want to try to get Chyna pregant? Even if she had the parts, imagine the damage steroids have done.