Sunday, January 29, 2006

Mmmm, I Suddenly Feel Like Lasagna.

Last night, because I felt like I was too intelligent and I wanted to knock my IQ down a few points, I watched a few episodes of "Dr. 90210." I'd never seen it before, and if you value your sight, you may want to refrain as well.

So, here's my question. Of course they have to blur the nips and the pubes, but apparently showing the entire inside of someone is just totally fine? It won't scar you emotionally at all to see them shove a tube from someone's belly button to their boobs, or to open a chin to the bone, or to lift all the skin off a nose and file down the cartilage, or to lift up someone's stomach skin and expose the layer of fatty tissue underneath. Those images are fine and dandy. I don't know about you, but as a small child, I think that seeing six inches of someone's skin cut off and laid out on a table for display would bother me slightly more than seeing, god forbid, a nipple. After all, everybody's born with nipples. Sometimes even more than two! I'm not saying censors need to become more strict, just maybe think about what's truly damaging to one's psyche.

And also. Who on earth would choose a plastic surgeon that looks like a slimy pimp? And not a true blue pimp either, but a white guy who wants to be a pimp so he tries really, really hard, but just looks like a white guy trying to look like a pimp. To wit:




Not to mention the fact that his wife looks like someone who was really cute before she allowed her husband to go all knife-crazy on her. Like Pamela Anderson. In just a few short years and with a few hundred thousand dollars and eighty pounds of silicone, you too can go from this:





To this:



Wow! Who wouldn't want to jump on that bandwagon? I know I do! Plus, you get the added bonus of getting to bang Tommy Lee! How's that for an unexpected treat! All that and herpes too!

28 comments:

NJ said...

Ha, I'm the first commenter!! I agree I liked Pam Anderson when she was still human, now I think she's a droid. I wonder if she asked for nipples that point two different directions?

Sallis said...

There needs to be some limit for silicone that officially makes a person no longer fully human. Bonding a certain percentage of metal parts makes a person a cybernetic organism. I'm just wondering if the day will come when the Playboy bunnies gain official status as "silcorgs."

yournamehere said...

I think he put an entirely different head on his wife's body. The head and body don't match there.

The Everglades said...

His wife looks like a meth head now. Maybe all that looking in the mirror and not seeing the same person gets to them.

Blake

Paladin said...

What IS the deal with wifey's eyes? WAY to close together or something.

And, yeah- Pam shoulda stopped a lot earlier in her quest to store the Earth's entire supply of silicone in her own body.

scott c said...

I've always been way more bothered by surgery shows that then grossest horror movie imaginable. Something about the "real" aspect of it hits me on a subconscious level or something.
sc.

PS: New, bitter AMG kicks ass. I love it. Call Me!

Maya said...

Ew, gigantic boobs. Nipples don't bug me as much as insides, you have a very good point there.

Chris said...

Yeah. And doesn't cutting a person open make them even more naked? I mean, if we're talking layers?

sarcastic journalist said...

I'd much rather see pubes than guts. Perhaps that's just me.

He is CREEPY and especially after seeing the show and how he acts towards his family, I wouldn't let him cut on me.

He really also needs to stop cutting and chopping on his poor wife and also get her a freaking Twinkee.

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

This is an American thing. In the four years I have lived abroad, I've seen more nipples than you can shake a stick at. You should've read the papers over here when Janet Jackson did her thang. They've got us all dressed in buckled shoes with names like Prudence Goodwyfe, I tell you.

Plastic surgery, in my opinion, is creepy. That being said, I have friends who I know will be hitting the botox clinic this year when they hit thirty.

BadGod said...

Herpes is not that bad...so I've heard.

Anonymous said...

I had to think about the lasagne reference.
I was like "but what does she... oh! Ewwwww!"
You are gross AMG!!

Someone censor this filth immediately!! She even said "nipple".

My poor innocent eyes.

*

sue said...

I'm blind now. Thanks.

Spirophita said...

Pam sure was beautiful before. Then again, it seems like now, it's less about beauty and more about sex appeal.

I do think Pam is still pretty attractive (and she did remove her boobs before, which looked so much better), but she does look plastic-y.

As for the good Doctor's wife, her boobs look like mini nerf basketballs, smuggled under her skin. Ewwwww!!!!!

hanmee said...

I thought Pam Anderson was NOT cute (those pencil-thin eyebrows are frightening) and actually thought her legs were way too skinny for her body (and this comes from someone who dreams of being too skinny rather than too fat). But when I saw old pics of her, I thought oh, she was actually attractive before she turned into a freak.

I love that Dr. 90210, but that's my obsession with plastic surgery. Yeah, I find it funny that they blur that stuff out. I mean, they removed enough skin once from a chick's abdomen that was so large it looked like someone's ass. Knowing it's a plastic surgery show, shouldn't they just preface the show and not worry about it (well, unless the patient prefers it).

I don't think the doc did any work on his wife except her boobs. That I'm sure they've mentioned. That is definitely a wretched pic of her.

What irritates me about that doc is his obsession with Tae Kwon Do. He just stands out on his drive way doing kicks.

AlRo said...

What a weird transformation that is.... yeeeshh

Anyhoo - you've been tagged..

mysterygirl! said...

I love this post! The creepiest thing about Dr. Rey (the pimp doctor) is how much he loves big boobs. He always tries to convince women to get them bigger, like at least a D, and he actually said "what's the point?" to a very skinny woman who wanted a (perfectly proportional to her body) B-cup after her breasts got all deflated after having a baby.

His wife may have had a tad much surgery, but I feel bad for her for having to deal with him.

ers said...

Silly girl, Pam has hepatitis C, not herpes. I mean, didn't you read her book? Or her column in Jane magazine?

Jesse said...

I like the redhead behind Pam in the last picture. Maybe the doc can make me two of 'em...

Never mind, looks like he already did, and just squeezed them together.

Pretty hot-stuff, eh?

By the way, doc musta been doin' a little hooch just prior to finishin' Pam's last boob job. Got those Barney Google nipples goin' on.

Roonie said...

It's not herpes, silly goose. It's hepatitis!

I thought at some point Pammy A. got a breast reduction. Uh, not looking that way to moi.

Diego Frenzy said...

According to Women’s Resource Center staff members, if Barbie were human, her doll proportions would translate into a woman 5 feet 6 inches tall, 110 pounds, with a 39-inch bust, an 18-inch waist and 33-inch hips.

http://www.berkeley.edu/news/berkeleyan/1998/0401/barbie.html

Is Pam trying to be Barbie? I think so.

So many times surgical fashion goes really wrong, like with Anna Nicole Smith too... ugh.

Sometimes when I look at stuff like that I get shivers, like Jolie's crazy lips.

Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

you mix with the rich and famous
man you rock anyway come over for sex and coffee
ps I have a small one

TYSEN said...

I like the before... and at first, after you mentioned 80 lbs of silicone I thought you might be refering to the lady behind and to the left of the "current" pam... then of course I recognised pam and scolled the browser down further and saw where the 80 lbs really went... (I didn't sleep much last night)

Julie_Gong said...

It kinda creeps me out that Dr Ray wears those capped almost sleeveless scrubs and that he really enjoys putting big fat boobies in wee little girls.

And everytime I see them jam one of those rods in someone I puke a little in my mouth... just so you know.

kate said...

I love the fact that he is always working out.. The episode when he got the new haircut cracked me up.

Neil said...

I don't really understand who those basketball boobs appeal to.

Not men.

Other women?

And, as a practical matter, if you're not naturally built for them, doesn't it just put a burden on your back? Shouldn't a "doctor" be concerned about that as well?

LocuTus of Borg said...

Yea, I had seen Pamela before everything and I thought she was attractive enough. Now everything is just ... as you say - siliconed.

Honey Bunny said...

you crack me up!