Thursday, February 09, 2006

If Only I...Actually, Nothing, I Just Had to Complete the Posts Titled "If Only I..." Trifecta.

I truly thought that it would be a long time before a song came out that would knock either "Photograph" or "My Humps" out of my most-hated songs list, but then Ashlee - dear, dear Ashlee - Simpson came out with this song. Woman, wasn't the Saturday Night Live debacle enough for you?

In other news, I went to my favorite little Chinese restaurant yesterday for lunch. You know the one - it's run by a family, and only the son speaks fluent English, and the mom kind of reminds you of the soup nazi from Seinfeld, and NO SUBSTITUTIONS, as they always remind you, but the food's really excellent? Yes, that one. I'm perusing the menu options, and feeling a bit adventurous, I decide to try something I've never had before and point to the General Tso's Chicken.

"Is that hot?" I ask the mother.

She steps back, looks me up and down, and after a few seconds of studying me carefully though squinting eyes*, slowly begins to nod. "Yes. Yes, is hot. But you handle it. Okay for you."

I am immensely curious what about my look made her decide that, while it was indeed a spicy dish, I could handle it. Now I want to bring people back there and have her appraise each person for their hot-food worthiness: "Yes. No. Yes. Too hot for you!! No, you no handle!"



*You should know that by "squinting eyes," I'm not calling attention to the facial feature that most people of Asian ancestry sport. I'm referring to the actual squinting of her eyes as she stared at me.


18 comments:

Amy said...

Great post. I love places like that!

How freaking sad that you had to put a disclaimer about your meaning of squinting eyes (not that you're sad- because you can handle the hot! Just sad, ya know?)

Chris said...

Oooh! Oooh! Was it the one where the english-speaking son is, like, five years old, yet somehow manages to damn near run the entire restaurant? I love that place, but the hot? I no handle. ;)

sue said...

I no handle hot, either...:)

Strow said...

nice blog you got goin gon here, i am sure to check into it eveyr day. You should go check out mine sometime, even though I dont post a whole lot.

I am sad, our best chinese restaurant is getting new owners cause the ld ones are moving away. it makes me sad that the good chinese food i used to love may be gone forever.

Strow said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Spirophita said...

The real question here is whether or not your food was actually too hot for you, or if her appraisal was accurate..

NCTRNL said...

You just had General Tso's chicken for the first time? That's usually the gateway drug that brings people over to the Chinese food dark side...

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Spirophita, no, actually it wasn't too hot. Which is surprising, because I'm one of those people that gets the mild buffalo wings and am like, "Wow, this is really hot. Don't you think this is hot? This is really hot!" while everyone else is chowing down their blazin' wings and looking at me sadly as I show what a wuss I am.

NCTRNL, I started out with Chicken Fried Rice and Sweet and Sour Chicken. My most recent favorite has been Sesame Chicken.

Chris said...

Wow, our chinese food progression has been exactly the same. I may break with you on the General Tso's however. Again, not so much for the hot.

Paladin said...

Which place is this? Mine is on 90th, near the Papa Muphy's. Great General Tsao's!

But- the BEST General Tsao's in our town is near the Hollywood Video just off Cumings. You gotta try it, but remember that one serving serves two people!

Paladin said...

Oh- do you mean the place down by where you used to work and swap meals with??

Chixulub said...

God, I love General Tso's chicken. Even the health code violating joints do that pretty good.

I'm wondering if the woman was trying to figure out if you were close enough to being as hot as their General Tso's. Like maybe if you were homely or something, there'd be too much difference in heat, and you'd get the hotness equivalent of the bends or something.

Or maybe she was trying to figure out if you were old enough to scoff at Paris Hilton...

hanmee said...

Maybe she wasn't squinting, it just looked that way to you ;)

Bob said...

She was not just judging the ability to handle spicy food.

She was assessing your general
"hotness" as in your genuine beauty and dynamic personality.

If she was staring at you that hard, then she wasn't that concerned with whether you could handle spicy food.

`-)

Popeye said...

I'm thinking she was looking at you and thinking you were a spicy dish.

browser58 said...

She was not checking you out, she was just trying to translate "Is that hot?" in to chinese and her answer back into English.

Roonie said...

How cute is that lady. I think I ought to recruit her to be my life advisor. Hell, if it's that easy, she needs to be on my team.

'ka said...

oh... my most-hated song is 'Hung Up' by madonna. it irritates me soo much.