Friday, March 17, 2006

Luck o' the Irish, or Why I Love Green Beer, or Hello, Toilet!

In honor of my dearly departed female blog crush Lindsey (who is pictured below and whose blog died a painful, painful death for those of us addicted to her), I am going to re-post her classic Ode to St. Patrick's day.

Twas the night before St. Pat’s, and all through my house
I could focus on nothing but my tingling mouth
My tastebuds were eager for the taste of green beer
You see, I am irish – and my day is near.
I knew it was coming, I’ve waited for this
When red hair and freckles now warrant a kiss!
No tounge though.
I picked out my outfit in all shades of green
It made me look sexy, fierce, gorgeous and lean.
I reflected on last year – though the day was a blur
It was Liz, Becky, Abby and yours truly – Murr
We headed to Sunset – in H-wood C-A
We stocked up on liquor – this would be a good day.
“TO DUBLINS!” we shouted, “It’s time to throw down!”
And we caused quite a scene, we rocked that damn town.
We partied with Wee-Man, who danced there all night
[Taller than expected – about Abby’s height]
DMX and his crew took a liking to us
But we tried to stay cool without making a fuss
With the alcohol flowing, the night wasn’t over
We hopped in their caravan of new black Range Rovers
Our tour of LA was wild and fun
But we were just hammered and our night was done.
This year better live up to the years in the past
I need liquor in me – and I need it fast!
You can take our lives, but you'll never take our FREEDOM!
Pour Bailey’s! Pour Guiness!
Pour it in my mouth!
Add a large shot of SoCo
(as I’m from the south)
My tummy is rumbling, for green beer I thirst
Being wasted is awesome. Being sober’s the worst.
My BACs too low, let’s make it go higher
I’ll drink like a champ, and I’ll never tire
For hours and hours and drink after drink
I’ll just keep on chugging with no time to think
I’m Irish you guys - I live for this stuff
You call it a problem, and I say that’s tough
I’m sorry you’re jealous that I have red hair
I know that you’re jealous when all the boys stare
But this is my day now – it’s my time to glow
The same goes for all the hot irish I know
Yeah Cammie! And Lohan (I’m sure she’ll have fun)
Go Carrottop (even though your career’s done)
Hey Colin Farrell! Come on, raise your glass!
Pierce Brosnan – pound this (while I pinch your ass).
Drinking buddies.
My blood will flow green on this fine March day
My Irish Pride’s out, put here on display
I’ll eat lucky charms (with no milk, but beer)
I’ll feast on potatoes, for carbs I don’t fear
I’ll get f*cking hammered and dance how I please
On tables, on poles, I may even climb trees.
And I hope that our fans out there are now thinking,
“That Lindsey is right! A day of just drinking!”
So party with me – every moment’s red letter!
And happy St. Patty’s from Lindsey [Way Better]


scott c said...

There are few things to brighten a St. Pat's day like pics of Lindsey.

Vegas Princess said...

This post makes me totally want to go out drinking with you guys!

And now I'm intrigued, since I am a new reader of this blog...what happened to Lindsay's?

Pat said...

Who is that girl? She's totally fine! I want to know what happened to her blog too.

Thomas, the retarded monkey said...

I miss Lindsey - the gossip, the drunken stupor, the being reported missing, the wetting herself because of the drink...

Oh God how I miss Lindsey.

Julie_Gong said...

I forgot how much I missed that crazy girl.

Hope you had a great St Patrick's Day!

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

For you newbies, Lindsey was a totally hot blogger from Texas living in the L.A. area who posted her exploits at However, one day she just....stopped. Sniff, sniff. And now her blog has had the "being revamped" excuse for several weeks. Fingers crossed that she comes back full force, but not counting on it.