Thursday, May 25, 2006

An Awkward Moment with the Waxer

As I'm undressing the lower half of my body in preparation for the wax, I notice a new display of necklaces and earrings has been set out. I glance at it as I walk to the torture table where the waxing will commence. Ana, my 60-year-old Russian waxer, notices me looking and stops me at the display. "AMG," she crows, "aren't they beautiful?" "Um, yes, very," I respond, uncomfortably aware that I am standing clad only in a t-shirt and bra. "Here, this one will look very nice on you!" she says, taking it off the display. I glance down, confirm that I am jewelry shopping with my bunky in full display, and stammer, "Yes, it's pretty....maybe I'll look at them after we're, ahem, done." And I have underwear on, I silently add. "No, no, try it on!" she says, walking behind me to drape it over my shoulders. Again, I'm completely cognizant that my bare ass - and more - is on full display. Granted, it's just me and her in a private room, but still....it's, you know, my stuff. And it's out. After she fastens the clasp, she steers me to a full length mirror to look at it. "It's wonderful!" she exclaims. "It brings out your eyes and matches your hair!" I wonder which hair she's referring to - the stuff on my head or the stuff she's about to rip out. Needless to say, it was an effective sales pitch as I quickly agreed to buy the necklace and matching earrings if only to get on with the business at hand.

26 comments:

Chance said...

While not a girl, I really don't understand your discomfort. I mean, this is a woman that you're comfortable with, that you know on a professional level, to whom you are comfortable assigning the vital task of waxing your woo-hoo! So you didn't have pants on... So what? I don't get it. You were about to be a lot more on display for the old crone, who's seen it all and more before.

Love you blog!

John Flowers said...

Wow, the female universe is amazing. Fuck if we need Martians: I’m surprised every time I hear stories about when there are no men in the room.

MrCorey said...

Food for the imagination. Good food.

Vegas Princess said...

That ranks right up there with the time my gyno (a woman) started asking me about my pedicure and if I did it myself, all while sitting between my opened thighs flapping in the wind. Gotta love those embarrassing situations!

Chixulub said...

I always wonder about the waxing thing. I can see doing it to yourself, but having a stranger do it, ewww. I'd be squeamish...

Syncdata said...

I can imagine that would be an awkward situation. It would be like going in for a physical checkup, and while the doc is telling you to turn your head and cough, he starts talking about german sausages.

Magnum D.I. said...

I'm really getting uncomfortable with the waxing stories, they are pretty gross, let us move on please, I mean come on...really?

pornharvester said...

157,382 lonely guys hit the "bunky" hyperlink while muttering a silent prayer...

hanmee said...

I was wondering exactly what the protocol was when you get your stuff waxed.

I would have been uncomfortable, too. Just because I realize that in certain scenarios (OB, massage, etc.) I need to undress to a degree doesn't mean I'm comfortable "hovering" that way.

Reminds me of those ladies in the gym locker room who stand there chatting with other women while they have a bra on and no panties. WHY? I ask!

LocuTus of Borg said...

Hmmm well you know they do it for a living ... so you see one cooch - you've seen them all I guess. Still surprised she didn't give you a towel or something! lol

AlRo said...

happy happy friday!

i agree with Locutus but... what better way to get a quick sale than to have you try on jewlery with .... sorry -- we interrupt this program to bring you the only bit of Wit AlRo will have all day..

Seems you were caught unawares and with your pants down...

Ohh not that was just horrible !!

Thanks for sharing.. i love this blog for the interesting bits of insight that you provide... fearless...

have a good weekend.

Brianne said...

Salespeople all over the world could learn a thing or two from her!

Chris said...

Now THAT is great marketing. "Sure, you can put your pants on. Just s soon as you buy this necklace." Brilliant.

But didn't you get that laser removal voodoo? I thought that would make it so you didn't need waxing any more. Or, did you just do that to your legs?

Julie_Gong said...

This sort of thing always happens to me at the gynecologist. Bunky to the wind...

Gadfly said...

See, you really should teach your boyfriend how to do the waxing, then it can be part of an elaborate bondage session where you're handcuffed to the bed having the hair on your bunky pulled out.

Holy crap! I didn't say that out loud, did I?

hannah said...

Here's what I think. Your bunky buffer visits can totally be transformed into some sort of half hour sitcom. I'm sure that Fox would be willing to shell out mad cash for that sort of entertainment.

I mean, anything has to be better than George Lopez, or that crap that Kelly Ripa keeps trying to revive from the dead.

You can call it "Two Girls, a Bunky, and a Jewelry Display"

Chris said...

I like the sitcom idea, but vote to call it "Wax On, Wax Off". ;)

Chris said...

My dentist, who had just been tramping around outside in the flower beds, I found out much later, complimented me on my suit as he planted his boot directly on my chest to pull out a pesky tooth. With my mouth agape and my mind on test pattern, he then proceeded to sell me on this fantastic fabric cleaner that, try as I might, would not find in any store. Once I got back to the office, I saw what everyone was staring at; a muddy boot print on my chest.

melissa.in.london said...

HAHAHAHAHA!

How...

Uncomfortable.

Chixulub said...

I want to see...

Dustin said...

thinks you are being a baby ------->

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Just to be clear, it's not the nakedness per se that bothered me...it was the context in which it occurred. It was just a little weird.

Julie_Gong said...

I totally stole this from Lexi but I think Fatboy Slim - Bushes is an appropiate theme song for your new sitcom on Fox. Bushes

AstonWest said...

Maybe AMG needs to try and get her new sitcom on FX instead...I hear they're looking (at the tune of $50K)

http://www.myspace.com/sunnyfx

DIAMONDKT said...

Talk about a pressure sale. That woman was smart - make you as uncomfortable as possible so you quickly agree to buy said product only to get on with the matter at hand. I bet you would of liked it if she was selling pants.

I wonder if she closes alot of deals like that? And how can I get a sales job selling to pantyless women? Nice!

Incommunicado aka Max said...

I can't stop laughing! Don't you just hate such moments?!