Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ladies, All I'm Saying Is He Knows How to Use His Fingers. IfyouknowwhatImean. And I Think You Do.


Ever know a guy for years, only to one day discover hidden talents that you had no idea existed?

Well, I had NO idea that Scott was a guitar god. A GUITAR HERO* GOD. Seriously, in the first ten minutes of playing, he was getting five stars and 100,000 points on medium level regularly**. Watching him breeze through riffs that had taken me weeks to master made me lose all will to ever play the game again, specifically in front of anyone with ears. Deaf people would be okay, maybe. Deaf and blind people for sure. And maybe infants and rabbits. But don't worry, that won't stop me from playing - even JAMMING - in private. If all my fingers were sliced off in a freak typing*** accident, I would still play with my toes. Actually, with my clumsy fingers and distinct inability to reach the fifth button, I might be better off playing with my toes.


The dude sat down and beat the game on medium level in one straight shot before he got up again. In less than two hours (after messing around in Quick Play mode for an hour). It took me two hours to figure out how to turn the game ON. (Just kidding. It only took 45 minutes.)

And I also want to say ON RECORD that Scott doubted the amazing awesomeness of Guitar Hero when I first suggested we play it. And when he was going through training, he doubted again. And when someone asked him a question during the second song, his eyes glazed over and he responded, "I can't talk now. I'm ROCKING.****"


* If you haven't played this yet, make new friends with someone who has it. Even if you actually hate them and they smell bad, it's totally worth it. EVEN IF THEY'RE UGLY.

**To be fair, he does play the guitar quite well in real life, so he might have a slight advantage over us no-musical folks who took weeks just to master the easy level. Like me.

*** I first wrote "masturbation" instead of "typing" here, but edited it because a) I'm Catholic and that's not something Catholics do, and b) sometimes my parents read this and I think they would appreciate not not having that visual. Hopefully this type is too small for them to read. Hi mom!

**** With his band
Fuckass.

16 comments:

Lord Chimmy said...

Yeah, I never thought I was a dance machine until I totally kicked ass on Pump it up.

Amazing how video games bring out your hidden talents.

scott c said...

I like how Riley looks dead next to me. It makes me feel like Ozzy Osbourne except with dogs instead of bats.

Karlos said...

My son tried rockin' to some Black Sabbath at Best Buy a couple of weeks ago. I watched him jam for about 10 minutes. Looks like it could be really addicting, which is why I ain't gonna buy it! We've got enough games here to open a freakin' arcade.

My word verif today is: sxywfdos
May be an Ebonic contraction for Sexy wif dose. Usage: "You look sexy wif dose shoes."

kate said...

I so want to play that game.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I just bought a guitar, and I'm totally overwhelmed. I have all my poses and faces down though.

TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre said...

Gotta love a man who's good with his hands.

Haven't played the game myself, because, well, I'm 34 and it's a video game. I barely have time for all this breathing and sleeping, much less playing a game. Sheesh.

Julie_Gong said...

I've been trying to convince my friends that guitar hero is awesome but they won't even give it a try. They are such girls. Girls who are totally losing out. I pity them.

Julie_Gong said...

I also want to add that there is no way I can sit and play this game. Scott MUST be some sort of 'Rock God' to be talented enough to sit and play. I on the other hand look like an autistic child rocking back and forth severely concentrating.

Kadonkadonk said...

My tax return is going towards a larger tv, and video games! Guitar Hero is a must on my list. But I also really want a Wii. Can you play Hero on that? Then I'd be golden...

dub said...

if it's any consolation, scotty's freakish ability to be awesome at EVERYTHING constantly makes me feel inferior. plus, he has always has been a guitar god for realz so that doesn't really help here...

Jenni said...

My neices have that game and my mom played it and LOVED it. She's 70 years old...yeah, my mom rocks.

Seriously. She ROCKS.

:phil: said...

I tried playing that thing once and couldn't do anything. In real life I've been playing guitar for over 35 years (yeah, I'm o l d).
I just suck at video games.

5 of 9er said...

Sadly... I completely suck at Guitar Hero. :( I keep telling myself it is because I am left handed.

The Muse said...

CB bought it on Monday. Played until 2:30 in the morning. I was over there last night and gave it a half-hearted shot (I was exhausted after working 12-hours). I was downgraded to GH2 Groupie. I have to reclaim my status tonight and prove I am hero-worthy. I think I'm going to contribute to the crazy by buying us a 2nd guitar. RAWK!

Pat said...

The game is unbelievable. AND my fiancee got me the wireless guitar. Well, "guitar".

I'm rocking out on Hard with my band, The Jagoffs. Unfortunately I'm stuck on "Carry Me Home" and "Psychobilly Freakout", which are damned near impossible on Hard.

Anonymous Midwest Girl said...

Lord Chimmy - Now THAT is a video I'd like to see.

Scott - You slayed him with your awesomeness.

Karlos - Heh, love the "sexy wif dose." I always try to see what I can get them to say, too. You're a horrible parent, denying your child of this game.

Kate - DO IT!

Dr. Kenneth - That's absolutely the most important part of the game, for sure. You'll be golden.

TSM - Um, I'm 86 and I can play it. Get with it!

Julie Gong - Your friends suck. You must replace them with better ones ASAP. I have to sit down too, but in my case it's because I'm concentrating too hard to stand up. I'd probably fall over if I tried.

Kadonkadonk - I LOVE MY WII! Totally get one. Sadly no Guitar Hero on Wii, but you can play GameCube's Donkey Konga, which is almost as cool.

Dub - Very true. Very true. We probably should stop associating with him. :)

Jenni - That's awesome. I'd love to see that!

Phil - Yeah, I generally do too. But it's still fun!

5 of 9er - Me too! Us lefties need to stick to gether. Except I play Guitar Hero right-handed, because my right hand is so uncoordinated I don't think I could get the fret buttons correctly with it.

Muse - Go, get your rock on! Take back your status!

Pat - Heh, the Jagoffs. Love it! Yeah, I haven't attempted any Hard songs yet. I'm still struggling through medium.