Thursday, April 07, 2005

Do You Really NOT Get It?

You may recall that I got a new car, Lil' Nazi,* a 2001 VW Jetta,** a month or so ago. Just so you know, she's awesome. This is probably the best lesbian relationship I've been in. And only. But still...

Because she's a German car, I thought it would be cute to get a vanity license plate with some clever German word on it. What I forgot, though, is that German is the most hideous language on earth. Full of sounds that should never be heard coming from another human's mouth. I'm part German on my dad's side, so I can say that.

So I went simple and decided to get "guten tag," which means "hello" or "good day." Plus, most people learned how to say "hello" in seven different languages in third grade, so most people should recognize it for what it is. Except you can only have seven letters and a space on a license plate in my county. So it actually says "GUTN TAG," which I think is still close enough people should get it. You know...German car, German phrase of welcome.

Except I've had two people come up to me since I got it and ask if I'm a hunter. Why would they do this, you ask? Because they obviously skipped third grade. Because they think my plates read "gut and tag."


Right, then.

* No, that's not her real name. So please don't email me for being anti-Jew. I love the Jews. And Hitler was a fuckhead.
** 5-speed. With a turbo.


Gadfly said...

Wooo... Five speed AND a turbo. I've read some of your stuff and I get the impression that you know how to make that turbocharger whistle when you get out on the highway ;)

Say, this is off topic, but I couldn't get your email to work for some reason (possibly my ineptness). But I think you might be able to
suggest some music that I might like, if you had the time. I don't
know a lot of the groups you list under favorite music, but I love
linkin park and evanescence. I only know two songs off the Greenday
CD, but I like those. If you had a little time, I wrote about one of
my favorite compilation CDs. You can skip down to the part where I
actually begin talking about the CD if you find me too long winded :)
I like a hard guitar, but I don't like the "Boo, I'm a scary monster"
voice that a lot of the deathmetal vocalists try to use.


NJ said...

Being a "gear head" I read, blah blah, blah, 5 speed turbo! Very nice. Not that your writing is blah, I like it, I'm just a car dork. :-)

BKing said...

To be honest, if I saw GUTN TAG on a license plate, my first inclination would be hunting. But then seeing it on a VW and not a redneck ford with a gunrack mounted and a decal of calvin pissing on a chevy logo would have made me reconsider.

Anonymous said...

Oh your car IS so hot!
I want some of that action!

I thought you liked the name "Black Widow"?
I can see how a plate saying "Lil Nazi" might not go down too well with certain folks.

To be honest I've been sitting here for the last few minutes trying to think up a clever german word/phrase you should have used instead of GUTN TAG but I got nothin'.

My thrid grade education obviously didn't extend beyond greetings either.

If we get off the German thing maybe you could have been
I mean people would have thought you were an early riser or that you were clarifying your gender but readers of your blog passing you on the street would have had the warm glow of recognition...


Dave Morris said...

Nice car. A friend of mine had a five speed turbo Dodge Daytona back in the day (okay, it was 1986, not THAT long ago) and that baby screamed! Always fun to ride down Main Street and let the old people shake their fists.

Paladin said...

How can you say such mean things about German? Sniff, sniff!