Life Could Not Possibly Get Better at This Point Unless Drugs Were Involved.

Can I just say, there is no way today could possibly be a bad day. One, it's Friday, which is always a plus. Two, spring, my friends, has sprung. It's supposed to get into the mid-sixties today. And we all know how I feel about warm weather. That is, it's a gift from the gods and anyone who says they prefer to be cold over being hot should be shot on site. Check back with me when it's 102 degrees with 98% humidity and see if I still feel that way. And I'll likely punch you in the face due to being cranky from crotch sweat and heat exhaustion. But for now, the weather is gorgeous. Three and four, I went grocery shopping yesterday and stumbled across two items that are going to change my life forever.

The first (can you keep up with all the numbers and counting in this post?) was this. Yes. Your eyes do not deceive you. That is CARAMEL DELITE ICE CREAM. I realize they're called Samoas (which is a retarded name) in the link and apparently everywhere but here, but I recognized their caramelly coconutty deliciousness immediately. I LOVE those cookies. And to have them mixed with my favorite food group, ice cream, is just further proof that God loves me. And it's light ice cream to boot, which means that I can convince myself that it's a health food and eat as much of it as I want!

The other food discovery was that they now make lean Totino's pizza rolls. To see why this is huge, understand that I lived on pizza rolls when I was in college. Since I am no longer burning a massive amount of calories daily running from one end of campus to the other and doing all those keg stands, I have of late been trying to eat more healthily. This unfortunately includes cutting pizza rolls out of my daily food intake. However, I can now introduce my body back to these, the crack cocaine of pizza-related snacks.

If I were to eat those pizza rolls on a sunny, warm day with that ice cream for dessert, I might spontaneously erupt in unstoppable orgasms. Which might not be a bad thing now that I think about it. Um, excuse me. I'll be right back. Ahem.